Noob Years!

HAPPY NEW DECADE/YEAR/END OF 2009!

I cannot express how happy the end of 2009 makes me. It's been an "interesting year" to say the least. Of course, there were good moments, but these were largely overshadowed by all the crap that's been raining out of the skies. For the last week, I've been rolling out of bed very very slowly, partially to avoid being hit by vertigo like a fish to the face, and partially because I feel like 2009 will not go away quietly. I plan to celebrate New Years eve cautiously. I'm quite glad I don't have to walk anywhere as I suspect I will be kidnapped by mustachioed men as the final huzzah of this shitstorm.

"Oh but surely you are exaggerating!"
Am I?!
I've had two concussions this year, the most recent of which (last week actually) is probably the root cause of my vertigo. Tilting my head is like being teleported from my comfortable home onto a boat. But not the good, fun kind of boat, no, much more like the itty bitty dinghy that is about to be flipped over by that approaching 10 foot wave. Fun stuff I tell you. The most reassuring part? There is nothing you can do about it.
Now, you've heard about my car accidents.
And last of all, my ankle tumour! Eagerly awaited post, I'm sure. Basically, it was a cyst that got infected, and had to be removed (Watch, if you dare!). The removal was pretty much the exact same as the video, if you added more "AUGH I CAN STILL FEEL THAT AND IT HURTS" and some blood and pus oozing out of it as I waited for someone to "pack it." Now, "packing" sounds innocent enough, but as it turns out, it really means that someone is shoving gauze into the hole until it's full. Ouch is an understatement.

Needless to say, I am hoping this run of bad luck will be over in 2010, and everything assoctiated with it will be resolved.

As for my resolutions, I resolve to be more optimistic. The good things that came out of this year would have to be my bitchin' trip to China, my awesome bartending skillorz, and all the fun I had this summer. I think I'll take the cliched road and resolve to be healthier, it couldn't hurt, right?

But now: To go bartend an asian party, and then to go out downtown and (carefully) celebrate the end of the year. Let's hope I don't get hit by lightning!

Oh Shiying? I remember her...

THE HAPS LATELY:

1. I have a hole in my ankle. Details eventually
2. We got a Rooma. "Charles"
3. We're going to Vermont tomorrow
4. I'm not buying people things for Christmas
5. School is out!

"Regular" Blogging resumes after the 26th.

Lordbug just doesn't have the same ring to it

So, recently, there's been a strange influx of ladybugs in my house. It started in September, I had just gotten home, and was minding my own business when I discovered a ladybug in the creases of my pants. I shooed it into another part of the room, and ignored it. A few days later, I was opening the door to my house when I discovered a ladybug on the other side of the door. Other notable times would include the time I found one in my shirt while I was undressing for a shower, and the one I almost stepped on thinking it was a speck of dirt.

There are no overtly large gaps in our house that would let the ladybugs in. And even if there were, why are there only ladybugs? So far, we've let the ladybugs live in peace, seeing as it is likely a mutually beneficial arrangement. Our plants (especially my hibiscus) often have bug problems over the winter, and from what I understand, ladybugs feed off of these bugs. Thus, I spend less time worrying about tiny insects flying up my nostrils, and the ladybugs don't freeze to death.

After a quick googling, it turns out that the species of ladybug I am seeing is the Asian Lady Beetle. It was introduced to kill aphids, which it did quite well, but because it is so competitive, it is also damaging native species of ladybugs. And, it is often known for hibernating in houses since it is native to Asia.

Invasive species? Helpful farm hands? Harbouring fugitives? Dilemma!

Though, truth be told, I think I have more things to worry about than non-native species of beetles taking refuge in my kitchen.

Well, Shit.

So. Today, I was driving and I got hit by another car. Now I am never going to be able to pay my insurance. FML

Well:

I was driving back from the grocery (Metro, if you will) and I was waiting to turn left. The way seemed clear, so I started turning. In my peripheral vision, I could see a car coming at what appeared to be an alarmingly fast speed considering the light had turned yellow some time ago. As my father says "watch out" it is pretty clear that no matter what I do, we're going to get hit by the car. (Though he argues that if I had stopped, we would have been fine. Maybe?) So, One large impact later, I'm sitting in a cloud of air-bag fumes.

Upon leaving the car, I can hear someone yelling. Turns out it's the woman in the other car, she had seat-belt injuries (as assessed by a doctor passerby). [Seat belt injuries would be caused by inertia, meaning that car was clearly moving very, very fast] and our car has leapt over the median and hit a car that was just waiting for the lights to change. The poor sucker. Anyway, police show up, firemen show up, lady gets carted off in the ambulance. The "main" police officer seems the most unsympathetic, luckily for me, he was writing the tickets. (Sarcasm. fyi)

So, after waiting and sitting in the tow truck, and waiting some more, the officer comes over to deliver the accident reports and also hands me a ticket for "Careless driving" (6 points, $300+ fine). My father cannot keep his mouth shut, and decides to argue with the (already looks like he has a chip on his shoulder, or possibly a stick up his ass) police officer, who only gets angry and frustrated at my dad. I am told that I can reduce the fine, and get all the points off if I go to court. My father on the other hand, is convinced we should fight all the charges, which would inevitably result in the police officer showing up at the trial, and pwning us for good; leaving me to never be able to drive again.

At home, the good ol' Pops is convinced that insurance will care about any charge, despite my insistance that it is most likely just the points they care about. So, now it is a lot of apologizing met with unconvincing "I'm just glad you're okay" and trying to see what the best way of dealing with this charge is.

Fucking cops. Hmph. Also: Dad, SHHHHH Listen to people.

And: How weird is it that I had a dream about getting my G2 last night? I got my G2, and then I was unable to drive to school because of a blizzard. Symbolic?! I think so.
It's also weird that everytime my family goes on a trip, something bad happens. When I was young, it used to be injuries, this year, it has to do with cars. (Detroit: Car was rear ended, PEI: I was hit by a car, Montreal: I crashed the car)

I caught me some spammers!

From beckykoulibaly@cantv.net

Attn Please

Dear I know that this massage will come as a suprise to you but after much consideration i decided to contact you,before we proceed, i don't know if i have introduced myself to you, I am Miss becky koulibaly

The reason why i send this massage to you is because i am not safe here due to my situation and my predicament so i decided to seek for your assistance.

I have a serious problem which is an injury that lingers in my soul for almost seven months now and i want somebody who is reliable and honest who will advise or give me a suggestion on how to overcome the crisis. my mother is not longer alive here in abidjan as i am writing you and recently My Beloved Dad join his ancestors though the hand of his wicked brother who call him self my uncle but has turn to be a lion over night to me.

How i wish i will see you now in my country and we talk to each other at present. my father before his death was a chairman of cocoa dealers here in bouake ivory coast,that was when am still a student at the federal college of in Abidjan. but i stop school after the death of my father because my uncle decided to poison me just for nothing sake, As am writing you now, all my hope and dream of future was shartered and spread to the sky as i don't know what to do,

My father left a big amount of money with the bank USD 4.5MILLION DOLLARS, and i don't know about this, it was on the 10th of october last year that our farmily lawyer kindly hand over to me the documents covering the deposit and the WILL my father wrote and the instruction on how i will utilise the money, Meanwhile i don't know what actually what to do with this money because of shartered brain and life line, that is why i contacted you so that you can advise me or give me suggestion how i will handle the inheritance and also help me to transfer this fund to your account .

And after the conclution of the transfer i will come over to your country to continue my education, Please it is a long story that if i start to narrate them now, you will be start shedding tears over there, but i will give you more details in your next mail but kindly bear in mind that i need you to help me out of this my bad condition and help transfer this money to his account and assist me come over there for security of my life and the fund and start a new life you.

Please i need your help, please i will love to hear from you urgent.

Thanks once again and please extend my greeting to your family.

Sweet love from

Miss becky koulibaly

We be demotivatin'

So. Piece #1 of my 4 paintings. Demotivational!
Um... The apple and such are painted with watercolours. the black is some matting that my dad and I cut in our basement (because we are awesome) and the letters are painted in acrylic.
(Caption cred goes to Krzys :D)

"Why do the apples have eyes?"
How else could you tell they weren't horrible, horrible apples.
"Your lettering is crooked"
I'd like to see you do it better. D<
"I have less friends than these apples"
Sucks to be you?
"what are those tiny black dots?"
The souls of people ground into paint form. (Actually, my friend was splatter painting a table over, and I didn't notice it was getting on mine until I thought to my self "hey, what are those little damp droplets?")

So. Yes.
Also: Have a picture of me.


So, yes. A self portrait in acrylic (Colours are not entirely correct. I'm a little more purple. Turns out, the shade of purple I used is almost impossible to capture)

"Why purple?"
Why not?
(I think that answers just about everything)
edit:
"Are you wearing buffalo hide?" - Regina
Wha.. .... no. It's a yellow shirt. D:!

"Fun fact" the colour of the background happens to be the exact same colour as my backpack. I found out when I dropped paint on my backpack.

Nuit Blanche!

For those that don't know, Nuit Blanche was basically an all-night (7pm to sunrise) art show that was held all over downtown Toronto. This meant that I ran around for the 12 hours I could have spent sleeping. Best 12 hours spent not sleeping ever.

7pm: I arrive at Union station. While on the phone, The installation in Union starts. It sounds like the roaring of a train that is only meters from your face, with no train. Fog comes out the walls, and then it sounds like the train leaves. This was Imminent Departure by Heather Nicol.

Dislocated from her home in New York after the events of September 11th, Heather Nicol’s work reflects on the vicissitudes of memory, loss and desire. Union Station is the arena for countless stories of last-minute escapes, missed connections, lovers' reunions, hitting the road, and being run out of town. This space will be transformed to evoke the romance and heartbreak of travel stories brought about by unforeseen crises.

This was definitely my favourite exhibit of the night. The voices with snippets of stories and the goodbyes, and then the train roaring with no train there at all.

Other interesting things we saw were The Blinking Eyes of Everything by Geoffry Farmer, Definitely one of the more popular projects. It was a stroboscopic machine (that cylinder, that spun around a bright light) which was supposed to induce hallucinations when people sat near it with their eyes closed. The most skeptical man we met in the line ended up seeing the most realistic hallucinations of dogs and animals. As for me, it was mostly lines, and coloured spirals, and other geometric shapes. But definitely a very relaxing experience.

The more hyped exhibitions were less spectacular than expected. Monopoly with Real Money by Iain Baxter& (Yes, that & is legally part of his name) was less than exciting. It was basically watching people play Monopoly, but without the fake money. Beautiful Light: Four Letter Word by D. A. Therrian (picture at the top) was interesting for a while, though not exactly exciting. As one man put it while he walked by "This is art?" Though, while we were watching it, I had accidentally stabbed myself in the face with a pen. So now, I have a .7 mm hole in my chin. It looks like a pimple.

Respire by Anna Fritz was also really cool. She captured all the filtered out sounds from Radio and broadcasted it in the room. It was a dark room with radios and LEDs hanging from the ceiling. Most of it was static, but then there would be some breathing, or some scraping noises and sounds like that. It was interesting, and creepy at the same time.

Far beneath the radio transmission hubs atop the CN Tower and other skyscrapers, Respire employs a matrix of radio receivers to add visceral intimacy to the experience of radio. Sounds of breathing and bodily exclamation, typically absent from radio programming, arise through the invisible and normally inaudible contours of the surrounding radio landscape.

Vodka Pool by Dan Mihaltianu had more potential I thought. It was cordoned off, so that people wouldn't get close to it, but people threw pennies and coins, and on one occasion, a paper plane into it. It looked more like a sad fountain than a giant shallow pool of vodka.

Otherwise, the night was still really fun. We spent a lot of time running around, trying to find where we were going. Grabbing food as cheaply as we could. And we ended the night (day?) by taking a short nap at the Public Library before it was time to go catch our trains.

I WISH I COULD SPEAK CAPS-LOCK

TYPING IN ALL CAPS IS KIND OF FUN SOMETIMES. I MEAN, SURE YOU GET THE URGE TO CAPITALIZE YOUR I'S WHICH IN TURN DECAPITALIZES THEM. (IS DECAPITALIZATION A WORD?)

HOWEVER, I CAN SEE THE DISADVANTAGES OF ALL CAPITALS, NAMELY THAT IT TAKES UP A LOT OF SPACE ON THE LINES, AND THE LACK OF DISTANCE BETWEEN MY LETTERS MAKES IT A LITTLE HARD TO READ.

BUT AT THE SAME TIME, IT'S LIKE WATCHING A BILLY MAYS COMMERCIAL. OXYCLEAN! MIGHTY PUTTY! I DON'T KNOW WHY THE VOICE THAT READS CAPS READS IT IN A BILLY MAYS-YELL BUT IT'S FUN. IT'S LIKE READING EPIC THINGS IN THE VOICE OF MORGAN FREEMAN.

I WONDER IF I CAN TYPE SOMETHING DOCILE IN ALL CAPS.
"THE FLUFFY LITTLE BUNNY SKIPPED THROUGH THE PINK COTTON CANDY AND WAS QUICKLY TRAPPED IN THE SUGARY CONFECTION. IT STARTED TO STRUGGLE, WHICH MADE THE CANDY HOLD ON TIGHTER. AND SOON, IT DROWNED, WITH PINK SUGAR IN ITS LUNGS"

THAT WAS TERRIFYING.



RIP BILLY MAYS. YOU WILL BE IMMORTALIZED BY THE INFOMERCIAL INDUSTRY

Correlation, or Coincidence?

So, remember when I found out my mother has been reading my blog?

At the same time, I suddenly have less to say about nothing. This could just be that I am running out of things to talk about, and therefore am becoming stagnant and irrelevant OR My brain is automatically self censoring with a great big "MOM" stamp.

Now, if we observe the archive to the right of this post, you can see that I used to blog an average of 7.166666666667 posts a month before July. After July, I blogged an average of 2.5 posts a month. This happens to coincide with when my mom said "So I was reading your blog..."

On one hand, this blog is open to the world, which my mother happens to be a part of, and therefore could be classified as "Fair game" for her to read. That is the whole point of blogging after all, to share your thoughts/opinions/life events/etc with whomever wants to read them, even if it happens to be your mother. It would be unfair of me to ask her to never ever ever read my blog after giving her the URL, but...

It feels like an invasion of privacy akin to her reading my journal (Well, I don't have one, but if I did, it would feel like this). She knows it's there, I know it's there, and while there is the option of reading it to see what I have been up to, she won't because it would violate some kind of trust/privacy issue. Sure, my friends read this, but chances are, if I wasn't blogging it, I probably would have told them. I'd like to think my mom is reading it with good intentions, and not to monitor my every move electronically, but you never know.

So, knowing that my mom has every right to read this, but still feeling violated, I have nothing more to say on this matter.

Also: Yes, this may be a not-so-subtle address to my mother.

What goes "Vrooommmm HOLY SHIT"?

So I got hit by a car yesterday.

I was biking home from Nancy's after a day's worth of adventuring. While crossing the intersection of Lakeshore and Silverbirch (after I had decided which way would be easiest to get home by) I was struck by a car turning left. When I left the curb, the college-pro painters truck moved up, but it looked like the kind of thing drivers use to passive-aggressively suggest you should go faster. But, as the car continued heading towards me, and me not being able to move out of the way (I can't pedal that fast!) a collision was inevitable. Being hit by a car hurts less than one would think actually. Though immediately after impact, it does hurt quite a bit.

The damage isn't severe. Road rash all over, a fat lip, and some oozing cuts on my ankle and face. One of my teeth also took quite an impact, and I'm going to get it looked at today. Plus one broken bike (no pics of that though. The driver took it to get it fixed)

Interestingly enough, my cuts look grosser today than they did yesterday. So you get to enjoy the full disgusting extent of them. (The cuts on my ankle are from the gears of my bike. They're quite deep, and I think there's grease in there.) Unfortunately, I had cleaned the cuts right before I took these pictures, so you're missing out on the stuff that's oozing out of them.


Did I mention that I got a fat lip and road rash on my face?

HEY KIDS

Why is it that I'm the only person that still likes clowns?
Sure, It ruined clowns for most people, but if I were to follow that logic, hills should have been ruined by The Hills Have Eyes, and dusty deserted roads with rusty cars following you should have been ruined by Jeepers Creepers. Oh wait. Yes, deserted roads with aggressively driven rusty cars were always "creepy" weren't they?

Anyways, I just don't see what is so horrible about clowns. I mean, when you disregard It, and maybe John Wayne Gacy, clowns aren't evil in the least. What's one clowny serial killer amongst all the others? Clowns are just so happy! On the outside of course, on the inside they could secretly hate life, but that isn't exclusive to clowns.

Enough with this pansying about the scariness of clowns, people! Suck it up, and start hiring clowns for your birthdays. After all, I want there to be a market for when I join clown college...

I'm not sorry until you're sorry

I find it hard to apologize when I think someone else should first. Which happens around 99% of the time an apology is really needed.

Why? Because I'm stubborn about stupid things.

Case one: In the streets of Venice, my father is blathering on about something that I have to change that I don't care for. So, instead of talking it out like a reasonable family (see the problem here? Reasonable) I stop walking and refuse to move until my demands are met. The father, equally stubborn, keeps on walking, making a showdown of stubbornness. minutes tick by as they stroll out of sight, and I begin making plans to walk back alone. Eventually, I win. My demands are met, and neither my father nor I are sorry. Mostly because he wasn't sorry first.

Case two: Yesterday, my father demanded I get a job. Of course, I had been thinking the same thing as of late, but if he was going to demand something, and then ramble on about how I do nothing all day, I would do the opposite. This eventually degrades into how he never says anything nice (it's true. 91% average? "Pretty good") or listens to me and etc etc. Concludes in "Maybe I just won't talk to you ever again." Followed by spending the rest of the night pointedly ignoring the questions he's asking.

"But Shiying, why are all these stories about your dad?"

Because I don't fight with anyone else. Most of the friends I've had can agree that they have never had a significant conflict with me. I don't fight much with my mom; I do fight with my brother, but that's usually of the "Stop spitting on me!" variety. Only my dad is as stubborn as me, and having two people with conflicting ideas but, both convinced they are right, together ends exactly as you think it would, no?

Moral of the story? I'm not sure, but I bet it has something to do with stubbornness and all that jazz.

About that list...

A certain item has been nagging me for the last 9 months. Namely, that list I drew up of things I had wanted to do by graduation.
It started out as a list of things I've always wanted to do, but found excuses to not to. When it was first written, I was excited to get started, go forth, seize the day, and all that jazz. Mental images of me carpe dieming at TIFF and bungee jumping were still fresh in my mind as I tried to plan the first items to be completed. But as I planned, I still found myself making excuses.

"Oh that will get me arrested."
"That will never work!"
"...Why is this even on the list?!"
"It's too cold/hot/windy/breezy/sunny for that..."
"I bet the squirrels will eat all the balloons, and choke and die.."

At a fantastic 6 months later, I tried to appease the nagging feeling by completing one item. I planted a tree, with SAVE no less. Interestingly, while planting the tree, I did not feel like I was accomplishing a life goal. Or, more accurately, if it was indeed my life goal, it would imply that I make some shitty life goals.

The more I thought about the list, the less excited I was to complete it. Bungee jumping seemed less and less exciting and more and more suicidal, as it seemed that I misjudged the heights I would be falling. Of course, some of the items on the list still seemed to be an exciting prospect, but they were easy targets anyway. Drive in movie? 15 minutes away, really.

I suppose I've just lost interest in my endeavour. I've changed, but my list has remained static. Everything changes all the time, and I suppose who I am now is not quite the same as who I was 9 months ago in an English class, bored out of my skull trying to discuss short stories. Part of the reason I wrote the list was so that I could go out and be more exciting. Well, I've done a lot of exciting things since, none of which happen to be on this list.

But, all of this rambling is just to soften the blow when I say "I am not going to force myself to complete this list." or in other words, I'm not following any lists. I'm going to go seize what I want, with no timeline whatsoever. Of course, that doesn't mean I'm going to avoid doing anything on the list, I'm just not trying to smoosh it all into the next year.

TL;DR I've changed, I'm not doing my list anymore

also: New theme! To suit the summer, though I guess I'm a little behind for that.
also: MOTHER, if you are reading my blog. Please stop. It's weird.

Me Love You Long Time.

It's way too long to describe everything I did in the last 12 days. So, I'll give some highlights! Unfortunately, I took less and less pictures as I was having more fun.

Beijing: The Great Wall.

There's really nothing quite like walking on the great wall and seeing all the mountains and hills. It was smoggy, but still gorgeous. The walk itself was actually insane. One section was on a 60 degree angle at least with stairs that went up one foot a step. But getting to the top was amazing because you could see everything. Thinking about being the builders who had to build the wall was just crazy, we had enough trouble just getting there, let alone building stuff.
I may have been complaining the whole way up and back, but it was a really great experience. Would do it again. Probably with the same amount of complaints.

Xi'an: The market

Sure, there's lots of history and stuff in Xi'an. But too much history at one time gets boring. The market though, is a real sight to see. People were everywhere! There were lots of souvenir stands, but there were also lots of stands selling the local food. Local food being food I used to eat as a small child that is. There were people selling traditional candy, and "small eats" (bad, bad literal translation). It's a shame we couldn't eat the food (concerns about explosive diarrhea and all that)

Shanghai: Partying

I'm not going to lie, Shanghai was good and all that, but the thing that sticks out most is going out. Armed with a fist full of bills, flanked by some friends and accompanied by Ben the professional partier, we went out to see the famous bar street. I can't say I remember everything that happened, but the stories I heard the next morning are absolutely hilarious. Apparently, upon returning from the club, I sat in a bath tub for a while, refusing to get out. After being dragged out, I thought it'd be a good idea to change, which explained why I was in a robe, naked. I also tried to escape (?!) a few times so Alex tried to tie me to the bed (?!?!) and then covered me in coathangers so I would wake her up when I moved. Waking up was one of the most confusing experiences I've ever had, and then I saw the adorable note Alex left.
"Gravol (for pukey) - with tablets of Gravol. Advil (for ouchie) - with some advil. Mints (for smelly)- with some mints"

Hong Kong- Shopping, the world's longest outdoor escalator, and more partying

The shopping in Hong Kong is a little less cheap, but really cool none the less. We walked down to "The Ladies Market" where I bought an awesome hat, and a really awesome pair of shoes and a dress and some shorts. It was made slightly more fun by the rain from an impending typhoon though. We'd dart from tent to tent as the rain stopped and started.

The world's longest outdoor escalator went straight through some of Hong Kong's coolest hang outs. There were art galleries filled with old and contemporary art, and little vintage stores, dress shops, bars and clubs and resturaunts and some apartments too. If I ever moved to Hong Kong, I'd try to move there. The elevator itself was pretty cool too, and took you from the bottom of a mountain straight to the peak.

Partying down in SoHo was definitely the most fun I've ever had. Hanging around the outside of a 7-11 we met some really funny guys living in Hong Kong who we talked with for a while. Later, we found the rest of our group, who found one of the guys that offered me a flyer walking down to SoHo earlier. Him and his friends helped us get into a club (me for free :D) where it was PACKED. We spent the rest of the night dancing away and had so much fun. Unfortunately, we had to fly the next morning, so we decided to leave at 2 am.

So, I had a lot of fun in China, and I definitely want to go back sometime. And if I ever get an offer to move out into Hong Kong, it will totally go into consideration.

Oh! and I forgot to mention that my lack of blogging was not because I didn't have interenet, but rather, blogger is blocked in China

My Life is Complete!

This weekend (or rather, Sunday and Monday) Regina and I went to Detroit to see the Offspring!

We did some other stuff too of course.

We embarked on an epic drive at around 9 in the morning. After driving through the border, and trying to explain to a customs lady who the Offspring were (?! "Hi I live under a rock") we arrived in downtown Detroit. Interestingly, there seems to be an excess of valets, and a total lack of Asians there. In our 2 days there, we spotted a total of 3 Asian people. And two of them were working together in an Asian shop.

We spent our morning/afternoon wandering around downtown Detroit with my dad's other child, the Nikon D300. Apparently, walking around with a large visible camera makes you a prime target for "Hey! Take a picture of me!". As a result, we have many pictures of total strangers/valets walking down streets, sitting in cars and whatever else it is that they were doing at the time. We also have many pictures of us being silly. But, here comes the exciting part.

Or, alternately, why we were in Detroit in the first place. After eating dinner at record speeds, Regina and I get dropped off at "Freedom Hill Amphitheater" (Doesn't it scream "AMERICA"?) where Time Again, the Dropkick Murphys and the Offspring are playing. We line up for merch, and after a while, I acquire another band shirt, one that I could actually wear, because it fits. We find our seats in the ampitheater (Who thought it would be a good idea to hold this show in a fully seated ampitheater?) and we watch Time Again play. They're all wearing matching outfits, and really good performers. But, since it's only 6 PM and everyone's seated, it's hard to get really into the music. But, a good show none the less.

After a break, a bagpiper appears, and everyone knows Dropkick Murphys are on. They play a totally awesome show. Who knew celtic folk music and punk made a good combination? Then again, there's also Norwegian folk metal, so I guess folk music is just a good side genre in general.
As they play, a slow trickle of people beging to pool infront of the stage. Yes, it appears that a pit has appeared between the chairs. It also appears that the security guards don't actually care about people staying in their seats.

Afterwards, Regina and I mosey closer to the stage. And by closer, I mean we walked straight to the stage, about 3 feet away. We wait for the long set up of the equiptment, because, clearly, headliners need all their own stuff pulled to the stage again. (I'm not complaining, as long as it's a good show). As the lights go down, and the Offspring appear, everyone goes crazy, and I go into a state of shock for a good 5 minutes. We take some pictures with my Crackberry, but then just decide to enjoy the show. After 2 hours of awesomeness, and being lurked by some creepy dudes (Seriously, even if we did look older for our age, we were so clearly underage.) t'was all over.

I'm pretty sure we smelled awful, but so totally worth it.

We shopped the day after, but a description of that would be a bore. Suffice to say, I have a new pair of awesome teal/blue converse!

And now, I must go back to pack for my trip to China!

Oooa

"Oooa" Said the squash
"Hi" Said Jimmy
"Oooa" Said the squash, quite persistently.
"What a foul mouthed squash!" Said Jimmy's mother, frowning with distaste as she quickly led Jimmy away.
"Oooa" Said the squash.

Thus, the squash avoided being consumed for another day. But this was not the type of life the squash had hoped for.

In its youth, the squash was the brightest of his class, a rising star. It was quite proficient in the linguistic arts, and was quite creative with its insults. After high school it was accepted into a prestigious university, and decided to major in Offensive Vernacular. This, was considered by many a waste of such brilliance. A squash, the first of its kind to be accepted into this university, studying such a useless major? A shame! But none the less, the squash persisted, and graduated at the top of the class. It moved in with some of its new friends to a smallish apartment in the area populated by graduates.

This was a new start for the squash, and its mind was filled with bright new ideas about decorating the new apartment, purchasing furniture, and things of that sort. But, first, it needed employment. With a degree from such a well know school, who would reject it? Alas, the job offers did not come flying in, so the squash decided to go out and meet its fate.

However, it soon discovered that finding a job with a degree in the offensive arts was much more difficult than it previously thought. Turns out, no one wanted to hire a squash to swear at things, in fact, no one wanted to hire a squash at all. Eventually, it began falling behind on its rent payments, and got kicked out by its friends.

"We're tired of you, you deadbeat!" they said, as they hurled his stuff out the window. And so, the squash sadly rolled away.

It tried begging for change, but no one had sympathy for a squash. In a last ditch attempt, it tried to gain employment at the grocery store. But. alas, it was mistaken for produce, and promptly placed amongst the other squash. It was surrounded by its lesser cousins, and whittled its days away plotting an escape. Days and weeks passed as it planned, and it felt itself progressively loosing freshness. This is a crucial part of its plan, if it can avoid being eaten long enough, the employees will have no choice but to set it free again. Soon, it will be free, but for now, the squash waits.

"My what a delicious looking squash"

69!

Yes, this is the 69th post.
I'm just being immature now...

69!

Makes me want to tell bad jokes and stuff.


...
Real posts coming soon

Things that Scare Me

Or: The best way to watch Shiying Cry

!) Heights
Well, there's not too much to say about this one, since it's pretty common. But I do have a story to prove it.

Summer of 2004(?), I was at YMCA camp. On this particular day, we were doing the high ropes. In my naive 11 year old mind, the ropes didn't look that bad (always famous last words...). So I harness up, clip myself to the safety rope stuff, and wait eagerly for my turn.

As I start climbing, I realize exactly how tall the pole is, but not overtly worried. Half way up the pole, I'm feeling a little anxious about reaching up for the next grab, for fear of falling. So, naturally, to assure myself, I look down. And then it all goes downhill. Immediately, I cling to the pole and refuse to move. Unfortunately, the only way for me to get off was to move to the middle of the ropes. All the way up.

Anyway, since I'm not on the pole anymore, I think you can figure out how this ended.

This is going to be a problem when I complete number 19 on my list...

?) Fish
Or more specifically, being in the same water as fish. I can't point out what exactly alarms me about fish... Something about their unblinking eyes, slimy skin, the constant threat of them biting off my toes, and such just terrifies me. Snorkeling in Cuba: A bad idea.

$) Things Swimming at me
Only made worse when it is a fish that is swimming at me. I get really nervous when I can see something swimming directly towards me. I almost punched some kid in the head once because he was swimming towards me... in a public pool.

&) Umbrellas
I always get anxious around umbrellas.. They could poke you in the eye, or things could start falling out of the sky and you wouldn't see until it went through the umbrella and struck you in the head, or you could get your thumb caught in it while trying to close it.

^) The Dark
Shut up. I don't like walking alone in the dark. But when I'm talking about the dark, I mean the real dark, not streets lit up by street lamps at night.

|) Dinosaurs
This all started with Jurassic Park, made worse by the robotic dinosaur park, and worse by that dream I had of dinosaurs eating my family, and worse by the most recent dream: Dinosaurs controlled by Radioshack. Sure, they might be extinct, but they live on in my dreams... and that's all that matters.

~) Feet.
Feet are awful, awful things. Foot massages are not sexy.

Don't ask me why I didn't number these with numbers. I don't know either.

I can't believe I forgot!

I had completed another item on my list way before. (March)

Masquerade! Granted, I wasn't holding it. But I'm a terrible hostess, so it was probably for the best. Anyway. I wore the mask I got from Venice which looks a little like this


Okay, it looks exactly like that, because that is the mask I wore. The more observant ones will notice that it is also not a picture of me. That's just because I couldn't find one of me and the mask together. That picture is from a masquerade-like themed get together on the cruise I went on in the summer, though, no one really wore masks, and it was more of a "I'll wear your mask and you can wear mine!" thing. Which, explains the picture.. somewhat.

I don't really have much else to say... So. I guess I'll go into a totally different tangent now.

I Probably put too much of myself onto teh interwebz

This blog, forums, facebook, random sites, etc. I probably divulge more information than I really should. Everything is on the internet in one way or another. It probably won't take too long to find if one was a dedicated googler. But it doesn't really bother me as much as it should.

The way I see it, you can live in the dark ages, and fear the internet, or you can embrace the internet and everything it can do for you. People already date/hook up/buy groceries/ chat/gather/plot/etc on the internet, why should it be unreasonable for me to expect it to take out my laundry one day? Being raised in a family where both my parents depend on evolving computer technology for their jobs, I've always had up to date computers, operating systems, and always fairly up to date on computer trends. So, it's really no surprise that I spend a lot of quality time with my laptop, Fred.

The internet is everything for me! It plans, and organizes, I can share my thoughts (here), talk to my friends even if they're far away and awkward on the phone, and I can encounter totally random people all over the world (Omegle/rest of the internet) So, what I mean is: I love the internet!

I should blog about Fred...
In due time.

Turn on Google safesearch already

Or: It's impossible to google "spanking" and expect academic results
Or: The debate over whether or not to spank is over. Deal with it already.

If it's already been scientifically proven that "spanking is bad for you". Ergo, there is no need for a debate, especially among a bunch of High school kids that don't like/want kids. And really, it's unfair to the poor suckers that has to try and argue for spanking.

"Oh yes, Oh yes. Hit your children!"

Personally, debates put me in a bad situation. As a person who has strong beliefs against holding strong beliefs, I find it hard to even want to argue about it at all. But, my opinion on this matter has been made for me (even though I don't think it's fair for anyone to try and tell someone they're raising their kids wrong.) Still, that doesn't stop me from wanting to point out that there is no set definition for "spanking" and therefore, many articles about research may all be referring to different things as "spanking" making it difficult to gain a general consensus other than "Don't spank. We think it's bad"

I'm going to whip out my arbitrary high school attitude right now and say that it is ridiculous to expect a stellar piece of workmanship from your students when there are 4.5 school days left until exams. Most kids are desperately cramming, calculating what kind of mark they need on the exam to bring up their average, or trying to alleviate stress by not attending school at all. Preparing for an all out debate with no prior warning is not in any of those activities, and therefore will not be scheduled anywhere.

But my real point: No one cares who spanks or doesn't spank their kids. Sure, we can all stand here and say "No suh, never gonna spank 'em. Nope." But in all reality, spanking at least once is more likely than never spanking your kids at all. Sure, I know that some people have never spanked their children, and I will applaud them for self control. The truth is, no one is ever going to admit that they spank/have considered spanking/will spank their children. Just like how no one ever says "Oh yes, I would have gone along with that" when questioned about how they would feel if they were in Nazi Germany.

Sure, I may have just lost due to Godwin's law, but it is the most appropriate analogy I could think of.

Enough procrastination, I have a debate to prepare for!

Vrrrroooommm Vrrrrrrr

What does Shiying want most right now?
This.


What? Yes. I would like a crotch rocket. Or more specifically, a Ducati Monster 690/6whatevers

But Shiying! Why a motorcycle?
Because they are clearly the sexiest/most amazing/amusing things on the planet. Also, what is there not to love about a leather suit? Sure, they're marginally more dangerous than cars, but I'm also probably not going to try going 5000000 km/h on the highway. (Deserted road, maybe)

But why not one of the ______ motorcycles?
I am short. This bike is short.

How are you paying for this?
Like I know... I'll get a real job or something that regular people do.

Why are you asking and answering these as questions instead of just writing about it?
Because I can.

So, really. I would love a motorcycle right now. Though really, any short crotch rocket will do, this is just the most awesome one. Now to see what takes precedence over my future.. Magnetic climbing wall, motorcycle, car, awesome loft, pony, pony, pony....
I'm going to need lots and lots of monies..

I have been to hell, and returned with (boring) stories!

Hell is freezing cold, smoky, and smells like soy sauce.

Okay, it was just an Asian trip up to a cabin in Georgian bay. And, I will concede, it was not that bad.

Day One
Directly after class, I hop into a car with my mother, and snack on cookies while we start the 5 hour drive. Stop off to pick up one pre-teen demon. Continue.
Switch cars around 40 mins in to ride with friend and his dad, clearly a deep believer in offensive driving. 3 hours later (you can shave a lot of time off when you drive at 140 km/h on an 80 road) I remember how much fun this friend was. Suddenly, this trip doesn't look that bad. Maybe.

Upon arrival, it is proven that Georgian Bay will always be colder than what you prepared for. But, it's a nice night, so we go for a stroll (we being me plus friend plus annoying pre-teen devil that we ditched) chilled on a dock, had some deep conversations etc etc. Nice, nice. Bed time, I am walked back because of my horrible fear of the dark. (shut up shut up)

It's cold, but I figure the blankets should be enough, right? WRONG

Day Two
Between 3am-6am I am woken once by my dad complaining about how he is going to barf (what do you expect after trying to consume an entire bottle of Asian liquor between 3 people?) and by crazy coldness. Apparently in the building of the cabin, fire safety and insulation were both regarded as "irrelevant". My mother tries to wake me up when the sun actually comes up. She then decides that it's appropriate to send the friend in. I am up, but very, very disgruntled.

"Hiking" is always a recipe for disaster with me. Insects, tiredness and cold equals "shiying has had a bad time" face. Needless to say, I sulked the entire time, and finally got my mother to agree to never take me on one of these pilgrimages again. I cheered up a bit when I get handed a Nikon D90 to take pictures with. (I do not have any of the pictures I took) and I take some sick pictures for the rest of the afternoon.

Upon return to the cabin, it is still very, very cold. I'm also too tired to think of anything interesting to do or talk about so most of the conversation goes like this

-poke-
Nuugggggghhhhh -poke-
Waaaaaah -poke-

Well, I think you get the point. Let's just say there isn't much to do when you get 5 channels and no internet. Though describe video on the accessible channel gets exponetially funnier as time goes on.

My father gets the bright idea to try and start a campfire. Of course, the only wood around is wood that just got soaked by a torrential downpour that started after we returned. Nevertheless, it does not discourage him. He rallies the minions (small children) to gather tinder and cardboard to try and burn and "dry out the wood". Unsurprisingly this does not work. However, I did witness many small Asians trying to "roast" their marshmallows in the smoke. Apparently smoked marshmallow falls under a "variation" and not "you're doing it wrong"

Oh, did I mention that I got bitten by some bug... that left a bleeding wound on my face?

Crawl into bed, it's fairly warm, but I load up on blankets just in case.

Day Three aka. Today
I wake up, frozen again. My brother is yelling.. and someone is cooking ramen in true Asian fashion. I go and take a shower to warm up, and notice that my breath steams. I get dressed... after heating up my clothes with the hair dryer. Eat a tomato for breakfast, because I can.

Mad packing and tidying enuses, and an hour later, we are all packed up and ready to go. I wanted to leave as early as possible to get to my biology assignment that I couldn't do thanks to lack of internet. So the mother and I embark on a 5 hour epic drive home. We pass lots of cows, horses, old houses, "Redickville" and other places with sketchy names and very few people. Upon return to 'sauga we stop off for groceries, and I grab some bubble tea. (nom nom nom)

Who knew bubble tea makes people want to pee all the time?

Althought it wasn't a totally sucky trip, it is not an experience I want to repeat. Though, usually I don't have much choice, and that is why I am forever going to places I hate going to, doing things I hate doing. I do not enjoy having "nature's splendours" pushed into my face, and forcibly aborbed into my soul, thankyouverymuch. But I did discover the wonders of describe video. You can watch TV while sleeping! Craaazzzyyyy.

Goodbye Georgian Bay, and I hope I never see you again.

p.s This post sounds whiny, but I really do hate these trips. I'd rather sit at home and get scurvy.

I can stop any time I want.

When you're falling asleep and all you can think about is tetris, you know you have a problem. Personally, I love tetris. If it wasn't for the imminent threat of carpal tunnel, I would play tetris all day. But there's other things I'd also do all day long. And so, here is a list of them, to appease the blogging gods.

1) Tetris (duh). I don't know why I like tetris so much, but I do.

2) Freecell. Or more specifically, winning at freecell. Currently I'm at 81 consecutive wins. (I need to get out more) Though, that number is partially achieved by cheating the system. For this, I can blame my parents. As a small child, they used to try and amuse me with freecell and minesweeper on our ghetto microsoft 19-something.

3) Sweetened Condensed Milk. I love the stuff, unfortunately it comes with enough sugar to melt your teeth on the spot.

4) Web Comics. First, it was just Cyanide and Happiness, common enough to not seem dorky I suppose. Then XKCD came along, and along with that came Questionable content, and Dinosaur comics, and... well. Let's just say, I spend a good amount of time on Monday, Wednesday and Friday checking the comics. (QC updates everyday. It's superb)

5) Caffarel Chocolate. Not just any chocolate it's italian. Okay, but really. This stuff is the best chocolate I've ever consumed (and I have eaten a lot of chocolate). The family first got some when we were returning from Italy. After some hardcore googling, my parents located a store in Windsor that sold it, so every so often, We aquire some more from my dad's friend in Windsor. (Currently muching through the millionth bag. Delicious.)

6) The internet. 'nuff said.

7)

(Okay, I posted that because I remembered it as "Hopelessly addicted to you" But Pushing Daisies is awesome.)

Boring Conversations.

(Or, I think creepy thoughts without realizing it is creepy)

A large percentage of conversations I end up holding with people I do not know well goes like this.

Me: Hello
Them: Hello, what's up?
Me: (thinks for a long time, comes up blank) nothing much, you?
Them: oh about the same.
-silence-

This works with a multitude of questions: "How are you" "How have you been" "How is life" etc etc.
The problem is, you can't reply with anything that is actually occurring in your life without sounding pompous/pretentious/damned depressing. Try replying with "I realized I live a boring life" it's simply too personal as a response to an automatic question and you usually get a "... that.. sucks?"
Thanks tips.

Replies I've tried out were "I've been better, been worse too" (apparently too depressing.) and "I don't know that's a really hard question" (Took too much explaining) "Eh" ("Oh what's wrong?" Nothing.) or "I've been spending a lot of my time thinking about beards" ("....what?")

Involuntary responses are also irritating, because it shows people really aren't listening.

"Have fun at your birthday!"
"Thanks, you too"

What? Yes I suppose I might have fun at my birthday 5 months later. Thanks for actually paying attention to my sincere desire for you to have fun, or anything else people have to say.

"Have fun at your birthday!"
"Oh I wasn't paying attention to what you were saying because I was too preoccupied with thinking about how awesome my birthday will be!"

This wouldn't be such a problem if "Hello, I've been watching you for a while, and I've noticed you like to wear shorts" was less of a creepy statement, and more of an acceptable greeting and a foray into an interesting discussion on the phenomena of wearing shorts in cold weather.

Alas, one day, people will be interesting.

I Declare a Dance War

So, last night was the AP tour 2009!
If you remember, I posted waaay back in February about how excited I was for it, well it turns out that all that excitement was totally justified! (You'll have to excuse excessive use of the exclamation mark here)

The saga begins right after school. I am getting ready to go out, and such, I leave the house at 4:20, perfect time if I want to catch the 4:48 train, right? Well, theoretically, yes, but we will never know. I get a text from Jess informing that the train is in fact, at 4:38. This puts me into a bit of a pinch see, there is no way that I can get there in 18 minutes at a nice walking pace and still expect to have enough time to buy tickets and all that. So, I pick up a bit of a jog. Turns out, I'm not in the best of shape either. I decide to run every other block for the next 1.4 km or so. (Wimpy, I know. Hush you) While neurotically checking my time, I realize that I probably won't make the train, but that's not going to stop me, no suh. Turns out, I did miss the train, but only by a minute or so. Luckily, the freak train came directly after that, so we got on that one.

At the platform, we observe a shocking amount of scene kids. It is evident that these are the kids that will totally be at the show with us. Mmmm scene. At the EX, the train conductor announces "This is the Fall Out Boy concert, have fun ladies. (pause) Shake your booties."

[I am too lazy to detail what happened between here and arrival at the venue]

So we get there right when Rocket to the Moon is playing, and they sound pretty awesome I must say, but we get in on their second to last song. After they're done, Jess and I hit the merch, and get FF5 CDs and shirts (unfortunately "All Ugly People Put Your Hands Down" shirt was sold out) When we get back, Hit the lights is setting up. We squish out way to the middle, and as we start getting into the music, I look up, and Chapstique was playing guitar for them?! So they were good.. Anyways, most of the time was spent nodding along/lightly moshing/making jokes about the swine flu

After more squishing, we were wedged right into the middle, where the people turn into one giant blog, and it feels like you're getting violated in all the wrong places from all directions by the same people that you're probably violating. But that's all part of the experience, right? FF5 comes on, and everyone goes crazy! There's a dance/mosh pit, which was pretty fun, and all the jumping and stuff. It was ridiculously hot in there, but too awesome to leave. Xanadu in the corner doing his thing, Chapstique looking awesome and Soulglow+Fatty+crouton being well, awesome. Needless to say, Family Force 5 puts on the most awesome shows ever.

3OH!3 comes on afterwards, and everyone's throwing the crazy 3OH!3 signs in the air and such. Here, I'll just say that I don't know that many of their songs, but they're pretty good. Anyway, they put on an awesome show too! I think my favourite comment of their was "I in like with you"

The Maine comes on and truthfully, a lot of the random people that came for 3OH!3 had left, so there was definitely less people out there, but still a sizable crowd. This time, the crowd's looser, and I'm pretty sure everyone is fairly tired by now. They sounded pretty good, but we had to leave after 3 songs to catch the train.

Back on the train, the weird old lady kept giving me disapproving looks, I'm not sure why?

Childhood enemies...

I was sort of an unpopular kid...

Of course, I actually don't remember the names of anyone from my childhood, mostly because I don't like them. But, I remember in particular a pair of identical twins. One of them thought my drawing skills were awesome, and the other one thought I was totally lame. So, it was always too confusing to figure out which one I could say "Hi" to without being shunned.

And of course, I had lots of other kids that picked on me, but that one was probably the most mind blowing. I did not have many friends... being the weird foreign kid and all. (not that I had friends when I wasn't the weird foreign kid..)

3rd grade: I had a huge falling out with my best friend at the time. I don't even remember what it was over, but it seemed like such a big deal back them. We both changed schools due to our families moving away at around the same time afterward, and we never kept in touch. She found me on Facebook recently, we turned out remarkably similar, except she likes Twilight.

Then, there are my crazy paternal Grandparents. They would quietly whisper to me about the dangers of leaving a door unlocked, and the murderers lurking around every corner causing most of my current paranoia. This was only made worse by my mother's addiction to "America's Most Wanted" at the time. As I get older, I hear more and more tales about the things my grandmother used to do because she thought it was good for me. ie, turning away all my friends that ever called me, or came to my door. Then again, she still does most of those things, without any explanation, ever.

I suppose you could say that my grandparents were a sort or enemy. The sneaky kind, that never lets you know that they are sabotaging your every move.

Makes me wonder about my dad's childhood a little.

p.s The other day, I found a bag of buns they had made a month a go stashed in a cupboard. I do not know what they did that for, but it got very, very moldy.

One down, 21 to go.

So today, I went tree planting! Wooooooo sounds like a party right?

No.

We went with SAVE (students against the violation of the environment) and planted trees at what we thought would be the UTM campus. We were actually planting trees on a very steep hill right beside the road. It wasn't too bad though, the soil was very clay-y, and there were tonnes of rocks, but that's all to be expected.

What was unexpected was the "nature hike" and the "Seed ball activity" we were encouraged/forced to do afterwards. For someone that was under the impression that we would only plant trees, it was in interesting experience. Now, it doesn't sound that bad, but I hate nature walks. They remind me of all the times my family and other likeminded asians gather together to go and violate a provincial/random park on weekends.

The car is loaded up with chairs, and parasols or whatever, and coolers chocked full of food that no one will finish along with ridiculous snacks in case anyone is still hungry. After we arrive, the walking commences, all in a hige pack, with small children darting around people that may or may not be part of the asian congregation. Of course, all this commotion brings out the mosquitoes. And if there's anything I hate more than nature walks, it's small insects. Knowing that they are there makes me paranoid, and then I feel like there's insects all over me, and then I start running and flapping my arms like a psycho. At this point, all other asians decide to intervene, and offer me random herbal concoctions made to keep the bugs at bay, all the while insisting that DEET is going to kill me. Personally, I think I'll take my chances with DEET and keep my sanity. Just when you think you are going to go insane/collapse, a group photo is called for. All the adults gather with their visor hats, raise the sun-shield or whatever that thing is, and smiles at the camera while wearing their backpacks/fanny packs. Upon return to where the cars are parked, picnic tables are scouted, and the crap in the car is dragged to where ever the table has been dragged to to stay out of the sun. The feasting usually commences from there, while pictures of the food is taken, and pictures of you eating is taken. When this is all over, everything is repacked into the cars, and we all head to our respective homes.

This is exactly what the nature hike felt like, I was always anticipating someone in a visor-shield-thing to pop up, or for someone to insist that I stay out of the sun for fear of getting a -GASP- Tan. Those asian treks have slowly made me loathe nature, and forests, and especially trails. Which is exactly what the "nature hike" was. Of course, I wouldn't even call the place we went a park, it was like a small strip of woods that just happened to avoid being bulldozed with a trail winding through them. There was litter everywhere, and the "beautiful canopy" was non-existant because it is spring. Upon arrival at a clearing, we were told that we would be making "seed balls", an innocent sounding activity, right?

WRONG.

"Seed balls" were balls made of clay, compost (manure! poo!) and the seeds of native plants. We were told to grab the gluey mixture and throw it somewhere to "encourage" "natural" growth. As much as I support the regional flora, seeding is not natural growth. Nor is the planting of natural shrubs and trees. And I do not think that southern ontario was ever a "prarie" like area. The soil is practically artist quality clay! And no matter what you call it, compost is probably mostly made of decomposed poo, and I am not touching that with my hands that I just washed 5 times to get the dirt off of. It was at this point that I got out my "Shiying is having a very bad trip" face. And I kept it on all the way home, to prepare for any surprises.

TL;DR Tree planting is okay, nature walks and seed balls are not.

Oh no.

I fear I am getting boring.
I am boring myself these days...
I forgot what I usually do.
What did I do on the internet for hours on end?
What did I do with my friends?
What on earth happened to my social life?

Damnit, not again...

Time to dust off my phone and maybe call some people, sooner or later.

But. But. Everything is boring. Maybe it's time to get started on the list

Now to start planning, and enlisting help. Maybe?

My Dream house...

As I spend more and more time trying to blog about my dream house, I realize: Oh hell no. I don't want to diagram the crap in my head.

Instead, You will be entertained with a combination of filler, and rant (By "popular" demand)

The first order of business: My book has arrived! Of course, I'd say anyone that isn't Regina reading this blog will have no idea what I am talking about. So... The book in question is Overqualified By Joey Comeau, who also writes A Softer World, one of my favourite web comics. [Is it really a comic? maybe?]
So far, it's been a pretty interesting read. Very Joey styled, but a lot shorter than I thought it would be. (94 pages) The paper is awesome! I've been hearing that it was printed on really cool paper, but this is serious stuff, yo. It's like thin manila coloured card-stock? Light ridges printed on it, and smells amazing. Very booky.
What is the deal with this book, and why am I blogging about it?
Well, It just came out this year on April 7th, so it's super new. It's a story told completely in a series of cover letters to various employers, mostly about his brother's car crash. It's weird, and quirky, and morbid, and funny, and a lot of other things I guess.

Moving on!

The Dating epidemic, what is up with this shit? Some of it, you totally saw coming, other stuff just leaps out of a dark corner and demands your wallet. I mean, I'm happy for some people, I'm confused at others, and then there's the few that are just so... WRONG!
In the last month, 4 people I never thought would date just got a significant other. I've spotted a few more surprising relationships around school (thought, maybe not so much if I actually talked to them?). Must be the human mating season.. But the main point here is: What the hell am I doing?
Let me state here and now, that I don't think long, meaningful relationships in high school are the way to go. I am not seeking for someone I can suck face with between classes. If there is anything I don't like in life, it's commitment. I don't eat apples because they're not something you can take a bite of and then come back to it. I like people in the same way: Friends are still your friends even if you don't see/talk/etc to them for a while. But if you're dating someone, and you don't go out of your way to greet them, it's some sort of mortal sin. And to that, I say "Screw that". But that said, all these hormones in the air make me feel left out of something I might be enjoying.
Of course, I realize that all this could be solved with a simple "friends with benefits" deal. But, really, where am I going to get one of those? (I see what you are thinking, and for fuck's sake, no.) Not to mention how awkward it will be when you mention it's not a boyfriend... but not just a friend either. Girls have some kind of obsession with having commitment. And a friends with benefits arrangement is lacking in it, ergo, girls hate being friends with benefits. But really, does anyone ever want to marry the person they dated in high school? Having a huge long relationship just makes the (mainly) inevitable break up that much worse.
Call me negative, but that's just how I see it.
"Oh but Shiying, what if someone asks you out? Are you just going to give them this whole speil?"
Probably not. I mean, I might as well give it a chance. What do I have to lose, really? BUT I'm never going to be one of those irritating couples that cling to each other like they had a congenital defect of the conjoined variety.

So what am I rambling about? What is my point? That's a pretty good question actually. I guess you could tl;dr this as "Shiying is being a bitter old hag." Or... actually read it and draw your own conclusion.

(Click on the picture for a better view)

Thank you for ruining sexy cars.

The other day, I saw the most stereotypical scene I have ever seen in my life.

The middle aged man driving a sexy car with his trophy wife/secret girlfriend/hired prostitute

Namely, he was driving a Maserati down the street with a blonde lady possibly in her 30's (or just denial..) that was heavily made up and adorned in jewelery in a manner that only a person with too much time and shallowness could accomplish. Namely, she looked like she escaped from the huge beach houses of SoCal to come live in this suburban hell hole.

What makes it worse is that the license plate read "SWEEET"

I bet the midlife crisis is all it's cracked up to be.

BUT that is not my point here. It just happens that every time you think of an awesome looking sporty convertible, you invariably end up picturing a middle aged man in the drivers seat. Probably balding a bit, a little lecherous looking, some wrinkles from squinting into the sun because he's too cool for sunglasses, and maybe a leather jacket to add to his persona. He probably drives like an asshole, drinks starbucks, and works a boring but well paid job.

Why so detailed? Because people fall into stereotypes all the time. Everyone complains about being stereotyped, but stereotypes exist for a reason. The alcoholic that stumbles around yelling things at trees while peeing into a garbage can? Probably true. The yuppies that no longer know how to make their own food since they've chosen a career (don't get me started on "I don't have time to cook") who line up at Starbucks every morning to pay $5 for some crappy oatmeal prepared by a 15 year old. Also true.

Racial stereotypes can be insulting, but are often also true. Asians are pretty much cheap and concerned with what people think of them. Why do you think there's such a ridiculous market for fake designer goods in China? Because people pay for it. If you live in a trailer park, you're probably a red-neck. This can go on.. and on.. and on.. But I think you get the point. maybe?

Now the middle aged man is a special specimen. It seems that when ever males want to feel young again, they go out and buy something more suitable (in image) to a man in his 20's. It might be a sexy car, or a motorcycle or something more scandalous involving younger women. My neighbour got a motorcycle. The thing is, when a guy gets the sexy car, it is no longer just about the car. You have to cultivate an image. The sun-squint, the arm out the window while the roof is down so that the wind can caress what is left of your hair. Maybe with some loud music that will irritate all the other drivers, and always, the unnecessary speed/revving/being an asshole in the car.

Exibit A: the "SWEEET" License plate. In case no one noticed the 100 thousand dropped on the car, the license plate will tell you how you are supposed to feel about it. It's like the icing on the cake, or alternately, the salt in the wound. Almost a passive-aggressive jab at the rest of the world.

Exibit B: The stereotypical blonde in the passenger seat. Her hair was up in a casual, but definitely not messy, up do with neat, strategically placed curls on either side of her face. Of course, they weren't any curls, they were probably straightened and then curled to get maximun curl perfection. Just for a little drive down suburbia...

So, to all the males out there: For the love of FSM! Stop falling into the same old stereotypes! Have an interesting mid-life crisis for once, and go naked sky diving or something.

I'm going to get abandonment issues from Omegle

Stranger: hello
You: people keep leaving me!
You:
You: Hi
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hi :D

You: :E hi!

Stranger: where u from ?

You: :F ?

You: :G!

You: :H

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: male? female?

You: I'm blogging about it.

Stranger: you are super cool

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

It's like an abusive relationship that you keep crawling back too...
In any case: I leave you with a ridiculous/lulz video

OMeGle

Omegle is the best thing ever!
It's like a chat room, except you don't choose who you get hooked with, and there are no names. Simply "you" and "Stranger"
Sure, it sounds like a perfect creeper site, but you also get to hold the most random conversations ever. Today, I found one person who did not like cheese, and another one that showed me that dairy isn't all that bad. I talked with one guy about beards, and to shampoo or not to shampoo. And so much more!

Of course, sure, there are total losers that are trying to find naked pictures of you/your sister/your female neighbour/any female in reach.

BUT.
You get total awesome stuff like this:

You: isn't this exciting?

Stranger: hell yeah!

Stranger: its ok

Stranger: better than anything i was previously doing

You: which was?

Stranger: drinking beer and teaching myself multivariable calculus

Stranger: now im drinking beer and talking to strangers!

hehe. Now I'll get back to talking with strangers

more!

Stranger: Andrew?
You: No
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Stranger: Tacos!
You: Are you andrew?
Stranger: No
You: oh
Stranger: I'm a Taco!
You: okay. what about tacos?
You: I see.
Stranger: what are yOu?
You: I am lettuce
Stranger: Then i want you inside of me!


Stranger: Hey

You: Are you a taco too :(?

Stranger: No?

You: or alternately, andrew?

Stranger: wtf?

You: k good

Stranger: I'm Norwegian.

Stranger: I eat whale

:) Omegle is awesome

EDIT. I FOUND HIM.

You: are you andrew?
Stranger: yeh
You: woah!
Stranger: why who's tis?
You: I don't know.. someone was looking for andrew, so I thought I'd join in
Stranger: lol kl
Stranger: u found me

I am blessed by the SPAM Gods

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YOU ARE BLESSED

Screw You Earth Hour!

Dear Shiying: Your lights are on, it is Earth Hour. WTFBBQ IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

I don't believe in Earth Hour! Why?
Well, It might have been a good idea. Sure, it supports the earth and what not, One hour's worth of electricity for an hour adds up, but it's the people that get me. Somehow, simply turning off lights gives people some kind of moral high ground. Last year, people actually walked around and insulted people who didn't turn off their lights. This year, I got a phone call from someone saying "your lights are on." BIG. WOOP. Turning off your lights does not make you a martyr. It means you turned off the lights. And part of Earth Hour seems counter-intuitive, when people turn off the lights, they light all the damn scented candles they've accumulated over the decades. All these candles are probably belching CO2 and bee poo into the air.

So, don't get all righteous with me. I don't care if you're driving a 10^9 mpg hybrid, eating only food grown within 2.4 km of your house, and absorbing CO2 with your pet tree. And neither does the rest of the world. Go ahead and do those things, just don't expect the world to bow at your feet for it.

A few things on my mind.

1) The search for "true love" or your "one and only" is nearly futile, or a fraud. If there was truly a "one and only" for every single person on this planet, the chances of finding them is 1: 3.6x10^9. Those are insane odds to go against. You could win the lottery almost 300 times with those odds. Alternately, this is no "one and only" and there are globs of people just like you, or the person you think you love. Again, out of 3.6x10^9 people, there is no way they are all unique. And that is why the odds of finding someone for you is slightly better than the previous proposed situation. However, this means that they are not as special as you believe. This also explains why widow(er)s go on to marry again or why people don't travel to every single continent in the search for true love. Perhaps I am being pessimistic, but I have math on my side.

2) Capitalism is the loss of faith in people. This is more of a reverse logic thinking on my part.. Communists, as horrible and oppressive as it sounds is really just a bunch of people who believe that everyone is equally good natured and hard working with consideration for their fellow citizens. Of course, it only takes a few assholes to destroy that mindset and turn the leaders of a communist revolution into a bunch of disillusioned people in high positions of power. And we all know what happens then... But Capitalism, the economy of the free, is a free for all. Where you squeeze as much money out of your family and friends because you can. Sure, you have ideas that will potentially save the children, solve global warming, and feed all the hungry people but can you make money off of it? Capitalism just assumes the poor folk were too lazy to work anyways and lazy people are not people in a capitalist society..

3) Modern day Medusa. What the hell, Shiying, you may ask, what are you blathering about now? Well. I have this.. thing floating in my head and it says that we all have a personal Medusa that turns us into stony, cold, people. Now, what I mean is: If we have enough exposure to something, no matter how sad or horrifying, we will get desensitized. And if it happens enough, then the immediate response to anything is always "photoshop." Think about those terrible World Vision commercials with all the poor little kids. Now, think about your reaction when you see that commercial. In all probability, you are not bursting into tears at the unfairness, but rather feeling a slight twinge of guilt for not being able to help. Some where out there, there is probably a short, stocky man arguing that the parents should not have had kids if they couldn't feed them/you can't help everyone/etc. Stony cold? I think so. But then again, who can look the ugly world in the eye and not turn to stone?

This house makes us all a little crazy.

A thought occurred to me earlier, but I forgot it.
So instead, I will entertain you with filler material designed to pacify you until a real post.

So, is it just me, or do you go pee a lot more often when you're sick?
Or maybe it's because I'm actually drinking water now.

water intoxication: A very real risk

I mean, I know people think it's hilarious when I say things like that, but when someone's passed out on the floor in a coma and/or dead from heart failure, no one's laughing anymore.
Remember kids, drink your water in moderation.

Thank you, Mighty spam bots!

mmmmmmm Spam.

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Spam me, please. I love spam. Spam Spam Spam...



p.s The description... "Whether you love it, hate it, or keep it as a pet, there's nobody out there who doesn't feel a little intrigued by a can of spam. Is it meat? Is it... umm... something other than meat? Could you fry it? Grill it? Use it for modeling clay? Texture your ceiling with it? "

Scar... leg?

Well. here comes the "long awaited" part two of. Well. The last post.

Fun Fact: There's another scar on my chin. It's less prominent and smaller.
It was from 3rd or 4th grade when I slipped on some slippery tiles and bonked my chin on the floor, Here, I am using a loose form of "bonked" By "bonked" I really mean wacked my jaw bone on to the slippery floor with enough force to break skin. Luckily it didn't require stitches, just butterfly tape, so I am left with a normal looking scar. Unfortunately, it occurred right before my trip to Orlando. So, there was no swimming done at all, and all my pictures have me in some pose that hides the tape. Whats more sad was that I lost the teddybear I bought on the trip at disney world. damn you Mickey Mouse.

I also have another normal looking scar on my right wrist. You see, I was very depressed... I'm totally kidding, really, I am. I've had that scar as long as I can remember. It's about a centimetre long, and relatively faint. It's fairly mysterious, and every time I ask my parents, I just get a shrug and an unconcerned "Iunno". It's almost possible to think that I was a conjoined twin, joined at the wrist.. by a tiny piece of skin... But the key word here is almost, because my parents would tell me something like that, right? right?

Now, I don't know if anyone noticed, but I have a crazy scar on the back of my right leg. And by crazy, I mean it's like the one on my face, but weirder. It's quite short, just around 2 cm or so, but it's all bumpy and funny coloured. It was from the surgery I got in 3rd grade. Nothing exciting though, just cyst removal. This scar supports my hypothesis that cuts requiring stitches give me horrible scars. The fun part of the surgery was my mom feeding me KFC, and me puking 30 minutes later. (I'm totally kidding, the freezies you get upon regaining conciousness were the fun part)

Interestingly enough, a few years later, I get another cyst. On the same leg. On my ankle. But, I figure it's not worth the trouble of removal, so it's sitting there, looking lumpy.

And that pretty much sums up the scars that matter.