I love SPAM!

Not just any spam.
All Spam! Garlic, Low sodium, Spam lite, Spam spread, Spam with bacon, smoked spam, the honey grail, and most of all, EMAIL SPAM!
Yes that's right, I love getting emails telling me that there is a Nigerian man ditched on the international space station with no way back and his family is trying to raise funds to send a ship to fetch him. I love the email that ells me I can enlarge/improve/etc my junk (well, seeing as I have none, I figure I could always do with more (there's never enough junk in the trunk)).

But the problem is, I don't get fun spam anymore. I get tasteless bland spam telling me I can get 10% off at Hakim Optical if I fill out the survey. And as much as I love a good commercial survey, it just doesn't leave me feeling thoroughly invaded and cheated like a personal scammer. Why, my dear scammers? Why have you abandoned me? I miss my spam!

I miss checking my junk mail and seeing a letter from someone I've never heard of proclaiming my dead relative in Saudi Arabia has died and left me his fortune which he got from being a pacifier tycoon.

COME BACK TO ME SPAMMERS!

Things that Should never see the light of day: A list

1) Echoes from the Past: World History to the 16th Century textbook published by McGraw-Hill.
This was a waste of paper. One glance at the schools' curriculum would have informed the publishers that children would NOT be studying Meso-America, Asia, or the Middle East. I'm not saying that they're not worth studying, but now we are all stuck with 300+ pages to lug around and never read.

2) Tear-away pants. 'nuff said.

3) Dried Fruit. Who ever thought it would be a good idea to dry out a perfectly good piece of fruit in to a jerky-like appearance and a thoroughly disgusting texture has ruined my food for the last time. Sure, if it's dried, it keeps longer. But I'm sure people eat the fruit for its taste, otherwise, we'd all eat apples. What good is a plum after it's shriveled up into a sickening PRUNE?

4) Speaking of Prunes: What the hell is Prune Juice?

5) justfuckinggoogleit.com. Eat my shit Regina, I will not Google Prune Juice!

6) this. Could anything else scream "I would like to die because of Massive Heart Failure please!"?

7) Who the hell thought "Massive" would be a good medical description.
"So.. He died of head trauma?"
"No, MASSIVE head trauma. Jesus, I don't know how you could get any more head trauma, it was so traumatized its trauma had trauma."
"...oh. So, it was painless?"
"Does MASSIVE sound like painless to you?"

Ooooooohhhmmmmmmmm

I wonder what my tarot cards are trying to tell me...
And by the by, I'm not using the upside down meanings, because it seems silly to me.

Cards
1) The Chariot
2) Queen of cups (upside down)
3) The fool (upside down)
4) The Moon

Meanings
1) Triumph! Success! Etc!
2) Balance, Achievements using creativity, but lacking common sense
3) Beginnings of a journey, optimism, also lacking common sense
4) Illusions, dreams, psychic-ness, the unconcious mind.

Maybe it's telling me that one of my ludicrous ideas may actually succeed!

The Anti-Meme

Meet Zomby. He used to have a name, but now a days, he just says "BRAAAAIIINNNSSS"

No!

I will not google it.
Ever.

In other news:
I am so. so. so. so. so. so. bored/boring.
Clothing rut. Fun, eh?

SHIT. My blog is boring. :(


So this one time, there was this toast on the ground. And all it wanted was for someone to pick up, hug it and tell it that it was awesome, and butter it. Well, maybe not butter it, because that usually leads to eating. But a hug and some warming up would be nice. Of course, no one picks up toast sitting on the ground, so it was trampled into mush by the morning commute. And then swept off the street with the street cleaners that come out at night and spray the ground with a fine morning dew. It's all a conspiracy you see: The "rain" isn't actually rain. It's just cheaper for the government to create fake rain to wash away all the crap on the streets than it is for them to hire a bunch of street cleaners to wash the sidewalks. Of course, some are hired, but they only work at 4AM. Because no one is ever up at 4. It's like the nerdy kid in the corner of the entire day. There's always someone up before and after, but at 4, everyone is asleep. Except for the street cleaners of course.

Songs you never want to admit you like

Mine?

Garth Brooks - Low Places


Li'l Wayne- Get Low


Chris brown


B. Spears- Toxic


The bumblebee song


Yes it is true. I like the bumblebee.
What are your musical guilty pleasures?

Lack of Blogspiration leads to...

So...
If you had say.. relatively warm water on the bottom of the thermometer, and you stuck the top part into the snow (or stuck snow on the top part I guess) What would happen to the stuff inside?
I mean...
Would it form some kind of wormhole, where temperatures collide, cancel each other out, and create a void in the universe due to lack of temperature?
I mean.. Everything has a temperature. So if they canceled each other out, it would create an impossible loophole in all that is what it is, and a time traveling wormhole would open, allowing you to return to the 90's, steal all of Apple's ideas, and become rich. (Conversely, you could also go back and warn people about impending disasters that you've already know about, but no one's gonna believe you anyway, right?)

Or some much, much more boring answer.

And so it begins.

My slow wade back into the "real world" after my blissful (though slightly boring) holidays.

Tonight, I have the iconic art class.
You know, the sole reason I don't do anything spontaneous on Friday nights?
But I'll be there with Kirby at least. Possibly Jane. I don't suppose anyone else will join.
And then... I'll be dumped with the regular 6 hours of schooling again.
Ah well, at least I don't have a job. *leans back and stretches to put some emphasis*

Also: Kitlers!

Oh Hey... You look Different

That's right!
I got a header!
Okay. I know that would sound dirty if this wasn't a blog and I wasn't talking about that thing that's chilling at the top of my blog with my blog title on it.
Credits go to Regina who has far more patience than I do.

What's that? Oh yes!
I got new colours too!

In other news:
A P T O U R 2 0 0 9 !
Yes!
Guess the line up?
All you really need to know is:
Family Force 5
3OH!3
And the other 3 bands... (They're good, just I haven't heard of them before this)
Have I mentioned how much I love the AP tour?
Last year, they brought The Matches, and this year FF5!
-squeal-
The dates aren't out yet. But there's just gotta be a Toronto date!