I'm so 2008

Hey, remember this?



Oh yes. Olympic protesters!
What was that? Free Tibet you say? That's funny, because I don't think it had anything to do with the Olympic games that were actually being held. *

*abbreviated because I can rant on about this forever.

But you know what does have to do with the Olympic games being held right now?
Vancouver's homeless.

It's no secret that Vancouver has a huge homeless population, between the high real estate prices, housing shortages, and huge rates of heroin abuse, there's a booming bum population. Interestingly enough between the time Vancouver won the bid for the Olympics and now, the homeless population has doubled (predicted much earlier), and not just because the number of addicts has skyrocketed due to the advertising of "Team Canada Heroin". Housing booms have forced ordinary people out into the streets. But that's what the government's for, right?

No! Since the Vancouver Olympic Organizing Committee (VANOC) went 5 billion dollars over their 550 million dollar budget and had to be bailed out by the government, anything that isn't feeding/housing/massaging/or killing athletes has been brushed aside. So what did they do about the homeless people? Well, after passing a bill that gave Police free rein to do whatever they damn well like to the homeless (bumfights anyone?) they also forcibly removed them from the area. Funny, apparently there isn't any room in the 5 billion dollar budget to squeeze in a little sommin for the homeless, eh?

"Oh but every city does this" is no excuse for doing it again and again. Every time the Olympics roll around to a city, it brings social havoc. The poor get poorer (and sometimes evicted) while the rich get richer (and score a prime seat at the games). Vancouver really could have used all the money it spent on the Olympics to help out their own city instead of putting in a shining mask for the world. They're not fooling anyone anyway.

Speaking of not fooling anyone, what is up with all the aboriginals? Yes, I think it is important to celebrate the native heritage of this country (that is otherwise squashed and relegated to a reserve with contaminated water). But Canada is not 99% aboriginal, which is what some might believe after watching the opening ceremonies. If we really wanted to show what Canada was all about, then there would be a multicultural display of everyone together; different, yet the same. I guess it all boils down to the guilt. Aboriginals are 15 times more likely to become homeless (see above rant.), they're stuck on reserves where it's overcrowded, underdeveloped, and impoverished. To move off the reserve means using money they don't have, because they're on the reserve. And within the reserve, there are all the problems that poverty causes: glue sniffing, alcoholism, suicides. But hey, at least they get some air time to do some throat singing, right?

I'm pretty sure the money that went to sending truckfuls of snow down a mountain would have been much better spent on the city itself, but hey, the Olympic spirit lives on in Canada!

Oh wait, no it doesn't. Sure the records are getting faster, stronger and higher, but it's also getting a lot more hostile. Instead of the fair play that is expected of people who want to excel at their sport and display their talents, it's been reduced to doping and exploiting the grey areas in the rule book. Canada has been particularly naughty these years. Researching top secret technologies for the athletes seems a little underhanded. While using technology to improve the sport isn't unfair, it is decidedly unfair to make sure that no one else is able to use the same technology. It's become less about the sport, and more about who has the lowest coefficient of friction.

So, which one was worth boycotting?

***Anti Free-Tibet rant coming soon to a blog near you!

Homework/references/articles I've read
The Walrus
The Homeless Issue
Someone that holds the opposite point of view

Turn on Google safesearch already

Or: It's impossible to google "spanking" and expect academic results
Or: The debate over whether or not to spank is over. Deal with it already.

If it's already been scientifically proven that "spanking is bad for you". Ergo, there is no need for a debate, especially among a bunch of High school kids that don't like/want kids. And really, it's unfair to the poor suckers that has to try and argue for spanking.

"Oh yes, Oh yes. Hit your children!"

Personally, debates put me in a bad situation. As a person who has strong beliefs against holding strong beliefs, I find it hard to even want to argue about it at all. But, my opinion on this matter has been made for me (even though I don't think it's fair for anyone to try and tell someone they're raising their kids wrong.) Still, that doesn't stop me from wanting to point out that there is no set definition for "spanking" and therefore, many articles about research may all be referring to different things as "spanking" making it difficult to gain a general consensus other than "Don't spank. We think it's bad"

I'm going to whip out my arbitrary high school attitude right now and say that it is ridiculous to expect a stellar piece of workmanship from your students when there are 4.5 school days left until exams. Most kids are desperately cramming, calculating what kind of mark they need on the exam to bring up their average, or trying to alleviate stress by not attending school at all. Preparing for an all out debate with no prior warning is not in any of those activities, and therefore will not be scheduled anywhere.

But my real point: No one cares who spanks or doesn't spank their kids. Sure, we can all stand here and say "No suh, never gonna spank 'em. Nope." But in all reality, spanking at least once is more likely than never spanking your kids at all. Sure, I know that some people have never spanked their children, and I will applaud them for self control. The truth is, no one is ever going to admit that they spank/have considered spanking/will spank their children. Just like how no one ever says "Oh yes, I would have gone along with that" when questioned about how they would feel if they were in Nazi Germany.

Sure, I may have just lost due to Godwin's law, but it is the most appropriate analogy I could think of.

Enough procrastination, I have a debate to prepare for!

Boring Conversations.

(Or, I think creepy thoughts without realizing it is creepy)

A large percentage of conversations I end up holding with people I do not know well goes like this.

Me: Hello
Them: Hello, what's up?
Me: (thinks for a long time, comes up blank) nothing much, you?
Them: oh about the same.
-silence-

This works with a multitude of questions: "How are you" "How have you been" "How is life" etc etc.
The problem is, you can't reply with anything that is actually occurring in your life without sounding pompous/pretentious/damned depressing. Try replying with "I realized I live a boring life" it's simply too personal as a response to an automatic question and you usually get a "... that.. sucks?"
Thanks tips.

Replies I've tried out were "I've been better, been worse too" (apparently too depressing.) and "I don't know that's a really hard question" (Took too much explaining) "Eh" ("Oh what's wrong?" Nothing.) or "I've been spending a lot of my time thinking about beards" ("....what?")

Involuntary responses are also irritating, because it shows people really aren't listening.

"Have fun at your birthday!"
"Thanks, you too"

What? Yes I suppose I might have fun at my birthday 5 months later. Thanks for actually paying attention to my sincere desire for you to have fun, or anything else people have to say.

"Have fun at your birthday!"
"Oh I wasn't paying attention to what you were saying because I was too preoccupied with thinking about how awesome my birthday will be!"

This wouldn't be such a problem if "Hello, I've been watching you for a while, and I've noticed you like to wear shorts" was less of a creepy statement, and more of an acceptable greeting and a foray into an interesting discussion on the phenomena of wearing shorts in cold weather.

Alas, one day, people will be interesting.

My Dream house...

As I spend more and more time trying to blog about my dream house, I realize: Oh hell no. I don't want to diagram the crap in my head.

Instead, You will be entertained with a combination of filler, and rant (By "popular" demand)

The first order of business: My book has arrived! Of course, I'd say anyone that isn't Regina reading this blog will have no idea what I am talking about. So... The book in question is Overqualified By Joey Comeau, who also writes A Softer World, one of my favourite web comics. [Is it really a comic? maybe?]
So far, it's been a pretty interesting read. Very Joey styled, but a lot shorter than I thought it would be. (94 pages) The paper is awesome! I've been hearing that it was printed on really cool paper, but this is serious stuff, yo. It's like thin manila coloured card-stock? Light ridges printed on it, and smells amazing. Very booky.
What is the deal with this book, and why am I blogging about it?
Well, It just came out this year on April 7th, so it's super new. It's a story told completely in a series of cover letters to various employers, mostly about his brother's car crash. It's weird, and quirky, and morbid, and funny, and a lot of other things I guess.

Moving on!

The Dating epidemic, what is up with this shit? Some of it, you totally saw coming, other stuff just leaps out of a dark corner and demands your wallet. I mean, I'm happy for some people, I'm confused at others, and then there's the few that are just so... WRONG!
In the last month, 4 people I never thought would date just got a significant other. I've spotted a few more surprising relationships around school (thought, maybe not so much if I actually talked to them?). Must be the human mating season.. But the main point here is: What the hell am I doing?
Let me state here and now, that I don't think long, meaningful relationships in high school are the way to go. I am not seeking for someone I can suck face with between classes. If there is anything I don't like in life, it's commitment. I don't eat apples because they're not something you can take a bite of and then come back to it. I like people in the same way: Friends are still your friends even if you don't see/talk/etc to them for a while. But if you're dating someone, and you don't go out of your way to greet them, it's some sort of mortal sin. And to that, I say "Screw that". But that said, all these hormones in the air make me feel left out of something I might be enjoying.
Of course, I realize that all this could be solved with a simple "friends with benefits" deal. But, really, where am I going to get one of those? (I see what you are thinking, and for fuck's sake, no.) Not to mention how awkward it will be when you mention it's not a boyfriend... but not just a friend either. Girls have some kind of obsession with having commitment. And a friends with benefits arrangement is lacking in it, ergo, girls hate being friends with benefits. But really, does anyone ever want to marry the person they dated in high school? Having a huge long relationship just makes the (mainly) inevitable break up that much worse.
Call me negative, but that's just how I see it.
"Oh but Shiying, what if someone asks you out? Are you just going to give them this whole speil?"
Probably not. I mean, I might as well give it a chance. What do I have to lose, really? BUT I'm never going to be one of those irritating couples that cling to each other like they had a congenital defect of the conjoined variety.

So what am I rambling about? What is my point? That's a pretty good question actually. I guess you could tl;dr this as "Shiying is being a bitter old hag." Or... actually read it and draw your own conclusion.

(Click on the picture for a better view)

Thank you for ruining sexy cars.

The other day, I saw the most stereotypical scene I have ever seen in my life.

The middle aged man driving a sexy car with his trophy wife/secret girlfriend/hired prostitute

Namely, he was driving a Maserati down the street with a blonde lady possibly in her 30's (or just denial..) that was heavily made up and adorned in jewelery in a manner that only a person with too much time and shallowness could accomplish. Namely, she looked like she escaped from the huge beach houses of SoCal to come live in this suburban hell hole.

What makes it worse is that the license plate read "SWEEET"

I bet the midlife crisis is all it's cracked up to be.

BUT that is not my point here. It just happens that every time you think of an awesome looking sporty convertible, you invariably end up picturing a middle aged man in the drivers seat. Probably balding a bit, a little lecherous looking, some wrinkles from squinting into the sun because he's too cool for sunglasses, and maybe a leather jacket to add to his persona. He probably drives like an asshole, drinks starbucks, and works a boring but well paid job.

Why so detailed? Because people fall into stereotypes all the time. Everyone complains about being stereotyped, but stereotypes exist for a reason. The alcoholic that stumbles around yelling things at trees while peeing into a garbage can? Probably true. The yuppies that no longer know how to make their own food since they've chosen a career (don't get me started on "I don't have time to cook") who line up at Starbucks every morning to pay $5 for some crappy oatmeal prepared by a 15 year old. Also true.

Racial stereotypes can be insulting, but are often also true. Asians are pretty much cheap and concerned with what people think of them. Why do you think there's such a ridiculous market for fake designer goods in China? Because people pay for it. If you live in a trailer park, you're probably a red-neck. This can go on.. and on.. and on.. But I think you get the point. maybe?

Now the middle aged man is a special specimen. It seems that when ever males want to feel young again, they go out and buy something more suitable (in image) to a man in his 20's. It might be a sexy car, or a motorcycle or something more scandalous involving younger women. My neighbour got a motorcycle. The thing is, when a guy gets the sexy car, it is no longer just about the car. You have to cultivate an image. The sun-squint, the arm out the window while the roof is down so that the wind can caress what is left of your hair. Maybe with some loud music that will irritate all the other drivers, and always, the unnecessary speed/revving/being an asshole in the car.

Exibit A: the "SWEEET" License plate. In case no one noticed the 100 thousand dropped on the car, the license plate will tell you how you are supposed to feel about it. It's like the icing on the cake, or alternately, the salt in the wound. Almost a passive-aggressive jab at the rest of the world.

Exibit B: The stereotypical blonde in the passenger seat. Her hair was up in a casual, but definitely not messy, up do with neat, strategically placed curls on either side of her face. Of course, they weren't any curls, they were probably straightened and then curled to get maximun curl perfection. Just for a little drive down suburbia...

So, to all the males out there: For the love of FSM! Stop falling into the same old stereotypes! Have an interesting mid-life crisis for once, and go naked sky diving or something.

Screw You Earth Hour!

Dear Shiying: Your lights are on, it is Earth Hour. WTFBBQ IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

I don't believe in Earth Hour! Why?
Well, It might have been a good idea. Sure, it supports the earth and what not, One hour's worth of electricity for an hour adds up, but it's the people that get me. Somehow, simply turning off lights gives people some kind of moral high ground. Last year, people actually walked around and insulted people who didn't turn off their lights. This year, I got a phone call from someone saying "your lights are on." BIG. WOOP. Turning off your lights does not make you a martyr. It means you turned off the lights. And part of Earth Hour seems counter-intuitive, when people turn off the lights, they light all the damn scented candles they've accumulated over the decades. All these candles are probably belching CO2 and bee poo into the air.

So, don't get all righteous with me. I don't care if you're driving a 10^9 mpg hybrid, eating only food grown within 2.4 km of your house, and absorbing CO2 with your pet tree. And neither does the rest of the world. Go ahead and do those things, just don't expect the world to bow at your feet for it.

A few things on my mind.

1) The search for "true love" or your "one and only" is nearly futile, or a fraud. If there was truly a "one and only" for every single person on this planet, the chances of finding them is 1: 3.6x10^9. Those are insane odds to go against. You could win the lottery almost 300 times with those odds. Alternately, this is no "one and only" and there are globs of people just like you, or the person you think you love. Again, out of 3.6x10^9 people, there is no way they are all unique. And that is why the odds of finding someone for you is slightly better than the previous proposed situation. However, this means that they are not as special as you believe. This also explains why widow(er)s go on to marry again or why people don't travel to every single continent in the search for true love. Perhaps I am being pessimistic, but I have math on my side.

2) Capitalism is the loss of faith in people. This is more of a reverse logic thinking on my part.. Communists, as horrible and oppressive as it sounds is really just a bunch of people who believe that everyone is equally good natured and hard working with consideration for their fellow citizens. Of course, it only takes a few assholes to destroy that mindset and turn the leaders of a communist revolution into a bunch of disillusioned people in high positions of power. And we all know what happens then... But Capitalism, the economy of the free, is a free for all. Where you squeeze as much money out of your family and friends because you can. Sure, you have ideas that will potentially save the children, solve global warming, and feed all the hungry people but can you make money off of it? Capitalism just assumes the poor folk were too lazy to work anyways and lazy people are not people in a capitalist society..

3) Modern day Medusa. What the hell, Shiying, you may ask, what are you blathering about now? Well. I have this.. thing floating in my head and it says that we all have a personal Medusa that turns us into stony, cold, people. Now, what I mean is: If we have enough exposure to something, no matter how sad or horrifying, we will get desensitized. And if it happens enough, then the immediate response to anything is always "photoshop." Think about those terrible World Vision commercials with all the poor little kids. Now, think about your reaction when you see that commercial. In all probability, you are not bursting into tears at the unfairness, but rather feeling a slight twinge of guilt for not being able to help. Some where out there, there is probably a short, stocky man arguing that the parents should not have had kids if they couldn't feed them/you can't help everyone/etc. Stony cold? I think so. But then again, who can look the ugly world in the eye and not turn to stone?

Things that Should never see the light of day: A list

1) Echoes from the Past: World History to the 16th Century textbook published by McGraw-Hill.
This was a waste of paper. One glance at the schools' curriculum would have informed the publishers that children would NOT be studying Meso-America, Asia, or the Middle East. I'm not saying that they're not worth studying, but now we are all stuck with 300+ pages to lug around and never read.

2) Tear-away pants. 'nuff said.

3) Dried Fruit. Who ever thought it would be a good idea to dry out a perfectly good piece of fruit in to a jerky-like appearance and a thoroughly disgusting texture has ruined my food for the last time. Sure, if it's dried, it keeps longer. But I'm sure people eat the fruit for its taste, otherwise, we'd all eat apples. What good is a plum after it's shriveled up into a sickening PRUNE?

4) Speaking of Prunes: What the hell is Prune Juice?

5) justfuckinggoogleit.com. Eat my shit Regina, I will not Google Prune Juice!

6) this. Could anything else scream "I would like to die because of Massive Heart Failure please!"?

7) Who the hell thought "Massive" would be a good medical description.
"So.. He died of head trauma?"
"No, MASSIVE head trauma. Jesus, I don't know how you could get any more head trauma, it was so traumatized its trauma had trauma."
"...oh. So, it was painless?"
"Does MASSIVE sound like painless to you?"

No!

I will not google it.
Ever.

In other news:
I am so. so. so. so. so. so. bored/boring.
Clothing rut. Fun, eh?

SHIT. My blog is boring. :(


So this one time, there was this toast on the ground. And all it wanted was for someone to pick up, hug it and tell it that it was awesome, and butter it. Well, maybe not butter it, because that usually leads to eating. But a hug and some warming up would be nice. Of course, no one picks up toast sitting on the ground, so it was trampled into mush by the morning commute. And then swept off the street with the street cleaners that come out at night and spray the ground with a fine morning dew. It's all a conspiracy you see: The "rain" isn't actually rain. It's just cheaper for the government to create fake rain to wash away all the crap on the streets than it is for them to hire a bunch of street cleaners to wash the sidewalks. Of course, some are hired, but they only work at 4AM. Because no one is ever up at 4. It's like the nerdy kid in the corner of the entire day. There's always someone up before and after, but at 4, everyone is asleep. Except for the street cleaners of course.

Eat my shit, Robertson Davies

Hello, and welcome to the world of Fifth Business. The book which is inexplicably chosen as "essential" reading for the Grade 11s of Lorne Park. All I want to know is WHY?
Why, Roberston Davies, why must you write a book that is not a book?
There is no conflict, there is no drama, there is no excitement. Hell, the "murder" we were promised came at the last 3 pages of the book, and the "mystery" was non existent! Why write a book with a fictional man who lives a mundane life, not including his bizarre saint addiction, and world travels. Hell, he's not even traveling for the fun of traveling, he is traveling to fuel his saint addiction. Plus, he is not even a likable man. He has no real compassion or any other feeling for others. He's only nice to the retarded Ms. Dempster because he thinks he has to be. His best friend is a tool, and he doesn't pick up any interesting friends along the way either. He makes no meaningful friends along the way, and methinks if he died, no one would miss him that much.
Secondly: WHY English Department? Why this atrocity of a book?
Sure, it was good reading. Once. The writing gives people headaches, it's largely redundant, and past section 3, the book stops making any sense. So why make us read it and analyze the poor thing?

What I'm saying here is let us read the old school books that everyone else reads. At least then, we can use Sparknotes.

Greetings From A Snowy Purgatory!

Well, here I am at blue mountain. As usual.
Every year, we ship off to Blue Mountain with all our ski/snowboard equipment, enough food to sustain all 3 meals, and clothes. As usual, they ski every single waking hour to squeeze as much "fun" as they can from that lift ticket, and the money for the rooms. I am not talking about "we" here, as I don't really want to squeeze as much as humanly possible out of that poor sticker stuck to my jacket, like a static-y sock stuck to a cat.

I would like some time in those awesome outdoor hot tubs. My "wonderful" friends would rather try and beat each other on my wii as I make weak protests against sitting there watching them. It has been an hour and a half now, and I hear the golf of wii sports being played. That's right, it has come down to golf. of all the sports, that's the one that nobody plays. ever.

Today, however, I broke with tradition, I slept in, ate breakfast, and informed everyone I was not going snowboarding. Not surprisingly, everybody ignored it, and sat down to watch me eat my breakfast in an attempt to peer pressure me into eating faster so that they can get me bundled up in my jackets, pants, and boots to take me snowboarding. I wasn't going to fall for that dirty trick again, and re-informed all present that I was not going snowboarding at all. Interestingly enough, they eventually left. I sat by the window, finished reading Lord of the Flies [which I enjoyed], took a nap, woke up for lunch, and vegged out until my friends returned. All in all, a very pleasant day.

Of course, then the trouble starts. They begin to pester and bother, and for a while, we're pretty content with T.V. But the allure of the wii is just too much, and they begin a fierce match of wii sports (it was wiiplay yesterday.). ust now, one friend was shoved into a sharp corner, and scraped his back. Yes, they are that competitive.

In case anyone is wondering, no, I have not even had time/opportunity to go guy spotting. Not. Even. On. T.V. The stupid children hanging around has hijacked the remote, and set it on Famly Channel 24/7.

p.s I lost the game.
p.p.s I know this post sounds bratty, but my parents ignored my request to quit snowboarding for good, and instead bribed me in with new snowpants and boots. Yes, I love my new snowpants and boots, but I also remember why I wanted to quit now: My friends are jerks on the hills. Ever since breaking my arm, I just don't have the confidence to speed down the double black diamonds completely out of control. So, when they suggest the double black diamond trails, I protest, and cite responsibility and common sense. Of course, it's all thrown out the window, and me being oldest, is forced to follow along to make sure nobody dies. HOWEVER: I draw the line at the Glades. Against all the things I said, jerk friend #1 hopped into the glades, and dork friend #2 was lured in, like a true pre-teen follower. I stick my heels in here, and simply went down on the outer sides of the glades, to make sure that they don't die. Why I don't go? Well: a) I have no helmet b) I don't have the confidence for that c) I know that none of us was good enough to safely go down them as intended d) the weather wasn't the best e) I'm supposed to be responsible, and I know that ski patrol can't extract injured people very well from there.
So really, I swear, i'm not half as bratty as I sound. If my friends grew some common sense,
maybe I'd like snowboarding more.

It's a posting Rampage!

Today is the (unofficial) last day of school!
Mostly because no one goes on the actual last day anyways. It's just school custom.
So, today, I send out les presents.
My sack of wonders included:
-Gonorrhea (The microbe plushie, not the STD)
-Rabies (yet to be given)
-A scarf
-A CD+ gift receipt as I suspected (correctly) that she already had the CD
-A White Blood cell (Also the plushie, gone to Jess)
-A stack of pandas
-A box of Toblerone for everyone else.

Received to come later. Maybe.

In anycase My ex-neighbour is visiting from England, and will be coming skiing with me and Ray for the next 4 days.
AS MUCH AS I ENJOY HER COMPANY She drives me insane.
Monopoly: Gloats about how she has no curb to her spending and therefore owns my ass at it, and only plays monopoly to own my ass at it.
Yesterday: Threw stale marshmallows at my head, and apparently, and I am the "host" and she is like, twelve, I don't have the right to kick her ass for doing it. If this continues, I WILL kick her ass, and probably shove some snow down there while I'm at it. >(
Oh, and since she (finally) hit puberty/had a growth spurt, she is like 2 inches taller than me and she like to hold that over my head too (pun not intended). Of course, if anyone paid any attention to genetics, it'd be pretty obvious that she'll be taller than me.
Case and point?
I am going to kill someone if she does not become a better person soon.

Dear Winter

Please for the love of god, go away. I mean I know that it'll provoke all the green-obsessed, but I can put up with whining better than severe frostbite. It might not have been all that bad had it not been for the fact that my pink mittens are missing. I loved those mittens, and it saddens me to think that i can't wear them again. The lovely Alex did get me an awesome pair (pics laters) of mittens, but they're quite large and I think I'll wear them when winter really sets in. But, I digress.
Although I live in Canada, I think I am entitled to a mildly balmy winter, or at least a smooth transition. But no, Winter is like the old crotchety man of the seasons, it's incontinent and likes to meddle with the affairs of other seasons, namely fall. I have a fall jacket, I have a winter jacket. But my fall jacket isn't as thick as it could be and therefore is not very warm when it is under 5 degrees Celsius. Problem here? I don't want to wear my winter jacket just yet, and my fall jacket is unsuitable for heavy layering; unless of course I begin removing buttons.
This sudden switch between 14 degrees to snowing is very confusing and frustrating. It's impossible to gauge what to wear everyday knowing you're either going to be sweltering or frozen to the bones. What happened to the crisp autumn days I used to love? It's all gone now apparently no thanks to the humidity that likes to hang around.
I suppose what I'm trying to say to winter is: please leave my fall days alone! Fall is my favourite season, and this is not a pleasant autumn!

-BAM- You're anxious!

So, today, I had a random wave of anxiety/worry/general badness hit me as I walked down a very crowded hall at the end of school. I have no idea why, I have no problem with crowds, nothing particularly agitating had happened recently, and I don't usually get anxious. So I was standing at my bus stop looking like a loser with no friends and a frown (no one that smiles is truly anxious). I get on the bus, talk to my friend, and we reached the conclusion that something strange is going down. So I check my horoscope (yeah yeah) and I see:

Get things out of the way early. Once you have freed up your time, you can concentrate on the personal issues in your life that are stressing you out. Bring things out in the open and explain your position. 2 stars

It's clearly telling me to get my homework done, and then freak out over what may or may not be happening that I am no aware of.

I sound extra paranoid today. Maybe I am.

Dear Ms Gender-roles-I-love-my-baby-Stickler,

I hate the homework you give us with unrealistic expectations for its completeness. If a "quiz" took 30 min+, it's probably a good indication that you should allow us more time so we can submit superior work. Now, you'll stuck marking mediocre sentences strung together in a semi-coherent manner done at 3am in the morning. No, I cannot do an essay in an hour and 15 minutes. Furthermore, (See, I used a transition word there) the sheer amount of homework we are receiving impedes our ability to do well in anything else. Currently I have approximately an hour or two of harmony homework that I can't do because my brain is exhausted.
Now, the ILU, what's this "you should be working on your ILU 3-4 times a week" stuff? Are we supposed to read a page at a time or something?! There is only so much one person can do in the course of a week, and frankly, this just isn't going to happen. Especially if You keep giving us homework!
So, If you could kindly stop giving us homework long enough for me to breathe, and fix my posture from lugging around all your hand outs, I'd be grateful. See that? Not even a demand for no more homework, just a pause. If things don't go according to my plan, I may have to move onto plan omega. And that involves stealing some of your hair, a small doll, and some sharp pins.
Good day.