Thursday, April 30, 2009

One down, 21 to go.

So today, I went tree planting! Wooooooo sounds like a party right?

No.

We went with SAVE (students against the violation of the environment) and planted trees at what we thought would be the UTM campus. We were actually planting trees on a very steep hill right beside the road. It wasn't too bad though, the soil was very clay-y, and there were tonnes of rocks, but that's all to be expected.

What was unexpected was the "nature hike" and the "Seed ball activity" we were encouraged/forced to do afterwards. For someone that was under the impression that we would only plant trees, it was in interesting experience. Now, it doesn't sound that bad, but I hate nature walks. They remind me of all the times my family and other likeminded asians gather together to go and violate a provincial/random park on weekends.

The car is loaded up with chairs, and parasols or whatever, and coolers chocked full of food that no one will finish along with ridiculous snacks in case anyone is still hungry. After we arrive, the walking commences, all in a hige pack, with small children darting around people that may or may not be part of the asian congregation. Of course, all this commotion brings out the mosquitoes. And if there's anything I hate more than nature walks, it's small insects. Knowing that they are there makes me paranoid, and then I feel like there's insects all over me, and then I start running and flapping my arms like a psycho. At this point, all other asians decide to intervene, and offer me random herbal concoctions made to keep the bugs at bay, all the while insisting that DEET is going to kill me. Personally, I think I'll take my chances with DEET and keep my sanity. Just when you think you are going to go insane/collapse, a group photo is called for. All the adults gather with their visor hats, raise the sun-shield or whatever that thing is, and smiles at the camera while wearing their backpacks/fanny packs. Upon return to where the cars are parked, picnic tables are scouted, and the crap in the car is dragged to where ever the table has been dragged to to stay out of the sun. The feasting usually commences from there, while pictures of the food is taken, and pictures of you eating is taken. When this is all over, everything is repacked into the cars, and we all head to our respective homes.

This is exactly what the nature hike felt like, I was always anticipating someone in a visor-shield-thing to pop up, or for someone to insist that I stay out of the sun for fear of getting a -GASP- Tan. Those asian treks have slowly made me loathe nature, and forests, and especially trails. Which is exactly what the "nature hike" was. Of course, I wouldn't even call the place we went a park, it was like a small strip of woods that just happened to avoid being bulldozed with a trail winding through them. There was litter everywhere, and the "beautiful canopy" was non-existant because it is spring. Upon arrival at a clearing, we were told that we would be making "seed balls", an innocent sounding activity, right?

WRONG.

"Seed balls" were balls made of clay, compost (manure! poo!) and the seeds of native plants. We were told to grab the gluey mixture and throw it somewhere to "encourage" "natural" growth. As much as I support the regional flora, seeding is not natural growth. Nor is the planting of natural shrubs and trees. And I do not think that southern ontario was ever a "prarie" like area. The soil is practically artist quality clay! And no matter what you call it, compost is probably mostly made of decomposed poo, and I am not touching that with my hands that I just washed 5 times to get the dirt off of. It was at this point that I got out my "Shiying is having a very bad trip" face. And I kept it on all the way home, to prepare for any surprises.

TL;DR Tree planting is okay, nature walks and seed balls are not.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Oh no.

I fear I am getting boring.
I am boring myself these days...
I forgot what I usually do.
What did I do on the internet for hours on end?
What did I do with my friends?
What on earth happened to my social life?

Damnit, not again...

Time to dust off my phone and maybe call some people, sooner or later.

But. But. Everything is boring. Maybe it's time to get started on the list

Now to start planning, and enlisting help. Maybe?

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

My Dream house...

As I spend more and more time trying to blog about my dream house, I realize: Oh hell no. I don't want to diagram the crap in my head.

Instead, You will be entertained with a combination of filler, and rant (By "popular" demand)

The first order of business: My book has arrived! Of course, I'd say anyone that isn't Regina reading this blog will have no idea what I am talking about. So... The book in question is Overqualified By Joey Comeau, who also writes A Softer World, one of my favourite web comics. [Is it really a comic? maybe?]
So far, it's been a pretty interesting read. Very Joey styled, but a lot shorter than I thought it would be. (94 pages) The paper is awesome! I've been hearing that it was printed on really cool paper, but this is serious stuff, yo. It's like thin manila coloured card-stock? Light ridges printed on it, and smells amazing. Very booky.
What is the deal with this book, and why am I blogging about it?
Well, It just came out this year on April 7th, so it's super new. It's a story told completely in a series of cover letters to various employers, mostly about his brother's car crash. It's weird, and quirky, and morbid, and funny, and a lot of other things I guess.

Moving on!

The Dating epidemic, what is up with this shit? Some of it, you totally saw coming, other stuff just leaps out of a dark corner and demands your wallet. I mean, I'm happy for some people, I'm confused at others, and then there's the few that are just so... WRONG!
In the last month, 4 people I never thought would date just got a significant other. I've spotted a few more surprising relationships around school (thought, maybe not so much if I actually talked to them?). Must be the human mating season.. But the main point here is: What the hell am I doing?
Let me state here and now, that I don't think long, meaningful relationships in high school are the way to go. I am not seeking for someone I can suck face with between classes. If there is anything I don't like in life, it's commitment. I don't eat apples because they're not something you can take a bite of and then come back to it. I like people in the same way: Friends are still your friends even if you don't see/talk/etc to them for a while. But if you're dating someone, and you don't go out of your way to greet them, it's some sort of mortal sin. And to that, I say "Screw that". But that said, all these hormones in the air make me feel left out of something I might be enjoying.
Of course, I realize that all this could be solved with a simple "friends with benefits" deal. But, really, where am I going to get one of those? (I see what you are thinking, and for fuck's sake, no.) Not to mention how awkward it will be when you mention it's not a boyfriend... but not just a friend either. Girls have some kind of obsession with having commitment. And a friends with benefits arrangement is lacking in it, ergo, girls hate being friends with benefits. But really, does anyone ever want to marry the person they dated in high school? Having a huge long relationship just makes the (mainly) inevitable break up that much worse.
Call me negative, but that's just how I see it.
"Oh but Shiying, what if someone asks you out? Are you just going to give them this whole speil?"
Probably not. I mean, I might as well give it a chance. What do I have to lose, really? BUT I'm never going to be one of those irritating couples that cling to each other like they had a congenital defect of the conjoined variety.

So what am I rambling about? What is my point? That's a pretty good question actually. I guess you could tl;dr this as "Shiying is being a bitter old hag." Or... actually read it and draw your own conclusion.

(Click on the picture for a better view)

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Thank you for ruining sexy cars.

The other day, I saw the most stereotypical scene I have ever seen in my life.

The middle aged man driving a sexy car with his trophy wife/secret girlfriend/hired prostitute

Namely, he was driving a Maserati down the street with a blonde lady possibly in her 30's (or just denial..) that was heavily made up and adorned in jewelery in a manner that only a person with too much time and shallowness could accomplish. Namely, she looked like she escaped from the huge beach houses of SoCal to come live in this suburban hell hole.

What makes it worse is that the license plate read "SWEEET"

I bet the midlife crisis is all it's cracked up to be.

BUT that is not my point here. It just happens that every time you think of an awesome looking sporty convertible, you invariably end up picturing a middle aged man in the drivers seat. Probably balding a bit, a little lecherous looking, some wrinkles from squinting into the sun because he's too cool for sunglasses, and maybe a leather jacket to add to his persona. He probably drives like an asshole, drinks starbucks, and works a boring but well paid job.

Why so detailed? Because people fall into stereotypes all the time. Everyone complains about being stereotyped, but stereotypes exist for a reason. The alcoholic that stumbles around yelling things at trees while peeing into a garbage can? Probably true. The yuppies that no longer know how to make their own food since they've chosen a career (don't get me started on "I don't have time to cook") who line up at Starbucks every morning to pay $5 for some crappy oatmeal prepared by a 15 year old. Also true.

Racial stereotypes can be insulting, but are often also true. Asians are pretty much cheap and concerned with what people think of them. Why do you think there's such a ridiculous market for fake designer goods in China? Because people pay for it. If you live in a trailer park, you're probably a red-neck. This can go on.. and on.. and on.. But I think you get the point. maybe?

Now the middle aged man is a special specimen. It seems that when ever males want to feel young again, they go out and buy something more suitable (in image) to a man in his 20's. It might be a sexy car, or a motorcycle or something more scandalous involving younger women. My neighbour got a motorcycle. The thing is, when a guy gets the sexy car, it is no longer just about the car. You have to cultivate an image. The sun-squint, the arm out the window while the roof is down so that the wind can caress what is left of your hair. Maybe with some loud music that will irritate all the other drivers, and always, the unnecessary speed/revving/being an asshole in the car.

Exibit A: the "SWEEET" License plate. In case no one noticed the 100 thousand dropped on the car, the license plate will tell you how you are supposed to feel about it. It's like the icing on the cake, or alternately, the salt in the wound. Almost a passive-aggressive jab at the rest of the world.

Exibit B: The stereotypical blonde in the passenger seat. Her hair was up in a casual, but definitely not messy, up do with neat, strategically placed curls on either side of her face. Of course, they weren't any curls, they were probably straightened and then curled to get maximun curl perfection. Just for a little drive down suburbia...

So, to all the males out there: For the love of FSM! Stop falling into the same old stereotypes! Have an interesting mid-life crisis for once, and go naked sky diving or something.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

I'm going to get abandonment issues from Omegle

Stranger: hello
You: people keep leaving me!
You:
You: Hi
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger:
hi :D
You: :E hi!
Stranger: where u from ?
You: :F ?
You: :G!
You: :H
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: male? female?
You: I'm blogging about it.
Stranger: you are super cool
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

It's like an abusive relationship that you keep crawling back too...
In any case: I leave you with a ridiculous/lulz video



Tuesday, April 7, 2009

OMeGle

Omegle is the best thing ever!
It's like a chat room, except you don't choose who you get hooked with, and there are no names. Simply "you" and "Stranger"
Sure, it sounds like a perfect creeper site, but you also get to hold the most random conversations ever. Today, I found one person who did not like cheese, and another one that showed me that dairy isn't all that bad. I talked with one guy about beards, and to shampoo or not to shampoo. And so much more!

Of course, sure, there are total losers that are trying to find naked pictures of you/your sister/your female neighbour/any female in reach.

BUT.
You get total awesome stuff like this:

You: isn't this exciting?
Stranger: hell yeah!
Stranger: its ok
Stranger: better than anything i was previously doing
You: which was?
Stranger: drinking beer and teaching myself multivariable calculus
Stranger: now im drinking beer and talking to strangers!

hehe. Now I'll get back to talking with strangers

more!

Stranger: Andrew?
You: No
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Stranger: Tacos!
You: Are you andrew?
Stranger: No
You: oh
Stranger: I'm a Taco!
You: okay. what about tacos?
You: I see.
Stranger: what are yOu?
You: I am lettuce
Stranger: Then i want you inside of me!


Stranger:
Hey
You: Are you a taco too :(?
Stranger: No?
You: or alternately, andrew?
Stranger: wtf?
You: k good
Stranger: I'm Norwegian.
Stranger: I eat whale


:) Omegle is awesome

EDIT. I FOUND HIM.

You: are you andrew?
Stranger: yeh
You: woah!
Stranger: why who's tis?
You: I don't know.. someone was looking for andrew, so I thought I'd join in
Stranger: lol kl
Stranger: u found me

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

I am blessed by the SPAM Gods

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YOU ARE BLESSED