Tuesday, January 27, 2009

I love SPAM!



Not just any spam.
All Spam! Garlic, Low sodium, Spam lite, Spam spread, Spam with bacon, smoked spam, the honey grail, and most of all, EMAIL SPAM!
Yes that's right, I love getting emails telling me that there is a Nigerian man ditched on the international space station with no way back and his family is trying to raise funds to send a ship to fetch him. I love the email that ells me I can enlarge/improve/etc my junk (well, seeing as I have none, I figure I could always do with more (there's never enough junk in the trunk)).

But the problem is, I don't get fun spam anymore. I get tasteless bland spam telling me I can get 10% off at Hakim Optical if I fill out the survey. And as much as I love a good commercial survey, it just doesn't leave me feeling thoroughly invaded and cheated like a personal scammer. Why, my dear scammers? Why have you abandoned me? I miss my spam!

I miss checking my junk mail and seeing a letter from someone I've never heard of proclaiming my dead relative in Saudi Arabia has died and left me his fortune which he got from being a pacifier tycoon.

COME BACK TO ME SPAMMERS!

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4 comments:

  1. AnonymousJanuary 28, 2009 at 12:34 PM

    I get a lot of "news" spam (Britney's New Sex Tape!) and the penis enlargement stuff. It's boring D: I don't even check my spam folder anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  2. setsantoJanuary 29, 2009 at 9:20 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. setsantoJanuary 29, 2009 at 9:22 PM

    Heh, just yesterday, I was offered my master's degree in just 4 days for the low low cost of $495! And apparently my long lost Saudi relative died and unless I claimed the money within the next month, the Scottish banks were going to seize it all. Damn Scots. So there's your spam quota done.

    Well, not quite:
    http://mashable.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/spam.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousJanuary 29, 2009 at 9:30 PM

    I just filtered them using a plugin that comes with WordPress. Saves me the trouble of reading through them. Some of them have gotten quite smart though and will write something that is relevant to my post but towards the end it will start advertising some products.

    ReplyDelete

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