Monday, January 26, 2009

Things that Should never see the light of day: A list

1) Echoes from the Past: World History to the 16th Century textbook published by McGraw-Hill.
This was a waste of paper. One glance at the schools' curriculum would have informed the publishers that children would NOT be studying Meso-America, Asia, or the Middle East. I'm not saying that they're not worth studying, but now we are all stuck with 300+ pages to lug around and never read.

2) Tear-away pants. 'nuff said.

3) Dried Fruit. Who ever thought it would be a good idea to dry out a perfectly good piece of fruit in to a jerky-like appearance and a thoroughly disgusting texture has ruined my food for the last time. Sure, if it's dried, it keeps longer. But I'm sure people eat the fruit for its taste, otherwise, we'd all eat apples. What good is a plum after it's shriveled up into a sickening PRUNE?

4) Speaking of Prunes: What the hell is Prune Juice?

5) Eat my shit Regina, I will not Google Prune Juice!

6) this. Could anything else scream "I would like to die because of Massive Heart Failure please!"?

7) Who the hell thought "Massive" would be a good medical description.
"So.. He died of head trauma?"
"No, MASSIVE head trauma. Jesus, I don't know how you could get any more head trauma, it was so traumatized its trauma had trauma."
"...oh. So, it was painless?"
"Does MASSIVE sound like painless to you?"

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