Tuesday, January 27, 2009
I love SPAM!
Not just any spam.
All Spam! Garlic, Low sodium, Spam lite, Spam spread, Spam with bacon, smoked spam, the honey grail, and most of all, EMAIL SPAM!
Yes that's right, I love getting emails telling me that there is a Nigerian man ditched on the international space station with no way back and his family is trying to raise funds to send a ship to fetch him. I love the email that ells me I can enlarge/improve/etc my junk (well, seeing as I have none, I figure I could always do with more (there's never enough junk in the trunk)).
But the problem is, I don't get fun spam anymore. I get tasteless bland spam telling me I can get 10% off at Hakim Optical if I fill out the survey. And as much as I love a good commercial survey, it just doesn't leave me feeling thoroughly invaded and cheated like a personal scammer. Why, my dear scammers? Why have you abandoned me? I miss my spam!
I miss checking my junk mail and seeing a letter from someone I've never heard of proclaiming my dead relative in Saudi Arabia has died and left me his fortune which he got from being a pacifier tycoon.
COME BACK TO ME SPAMMERS!