Sunday, May 31, 2009

I have been to hell, and returned with (boring) stories!

Hell is freezing cold, smoky, and smells like soy sauce.

Okay, it was just an Asian trip up to a cabin in Georgian bay. And, I will concede, it was not that bad.

Day One
Directly after class, I hop into a car with my mother, and snack on cookies while we start the 5 hour drive. Stop off to pick up one pre-teen demon. Continue.
Switch cars around 40 mins in to ride with friend and his dad, clearly a deep believer in offensive driving. 3 hours later (you can shave a lot of time off when you drive at 140 km/h on an 80 road) I remember how much fun this friend was. Suddenly, this trip doesn't look that bad. Maybe.

Upon arrival, it is proven that Georgian Bay will always be colder than what you prepared for. But, it's a nice night, so we go for a stroll (we being me plus friend plus annoying pre-teen devil that we ditched) chilled on a dock, had some deep conversations etc etc. Nice, nice. Bed time, I am walked back because of my horrible fear of the dark. (shut up shut up)

It's cold, but I figure the blankets should be enough, right? WRONG

Day Two
Between 3am-6am I am woken once by my dad complaining about how he is going to barf (what do you expect after trying to consume an entire bottle of Asian liquor between 3 people?) and by crazy coldness. Apparently in the building of the cabin, fire safety and insulation were both regarded as "irrelevant". My mother tries to wake me up when the sun actually comes up. She then decides that it's appropriate to send the friend in. I am up, but very, very disgruntled.

"Hiking" is always a recipe for disaster with me. Insects, tiredness and cold equals "shiying has had a bad time" face. Needless to say, I sulked the entire time, and finally got my mother to agree to never take me on one of these pilgrimages again. I cheered up a bit when I get handed a Nikon D90 to take pictures with. (I do not have any of the pictures I took) and I take some sick pictures for the rest of the afternoon.

Upon return to the cabin, it is still very, very cold. I'm also too tired to think of anything interesting to do or talk about so most of the conversation goes like this
Nuugggggghhhhh -poke-
Waaaaaah -poke-
Well, I think you get the point. Let's just say there isn't much to do when you get 5 channels and no internet. Though describe video on the accessible channel gets exponetially funnier as time goes on.

My father gets the bright idea to try and start a campfire. Of course, the only wood around is wood that just got soaked by a torrential downpour that started after we returned. Nevertheless, it does not discourage him. He rallies the minions (small children) to gather tinder and cardboard to try and burn and "dry out the wood". Unsurprisingly this does not work. However, I did witness many small Asians trying to "roast" their marshmallows in the smoke. Apparently smoked marshmallow falls under a "variation" and not "you're doing it wrong"

Oh, did I mention that I got bitten by some bug... that left a bleeding wound on my face?

Crawl into bed, it's fairly warm, but I load up on blankets just in case.

Day Three aka. Today
I wake up, frozen again. My brother is yelling.. and someone is cooking ramen in true Asian fashion. I go and take a shower to warm up, and notice that my breath steams. I get dressed... after heating up my clothes with the hair dryer. Eat a tomato for breakfast, because I can.

Mad packing and tidying enuses, and an hour later, we are all packed up and ready to go. I wanted to leave as early as possible to get to my biology assignment that I couldn't do thanks to lack of internet. So the mother and I embark on a 5 hour epic drive home. We pass lots of cows, horses, old houses, "Redickville" and other places with sketchy names and very few people. Upon return to 'sauga we stop off for groceries, and I grab some bubble tea. (nom nom nom)

Who knew bubble tea makes people want to pee all the time?

Althought it wasn't a totally sucky trip, it is not an experience I want to repeat. Though, usually I don't have much choice, and that is why I am forever going to places I hate going to, doing things I hate doing. I do not enjoy having "nature's splendours" pushed into my face, and forcibly aborbed into my soul, thankyouverymuch. But I did discover the wonders of describe video. You can watch TV while sleeping! Craaazzzyyyy.

Goodbye Georgian Bay, and I hope I never see you again.

p.s This post sounds whiny, but I really do hate these trips. I'd rather sit at home and get scurvy.

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