Boring Conversations.

(Or, I think creepy thoughts without realizing it is creepy)

A large percentage of conversations I end up holding with people I do not know well goes like this.

Me: Hello
Them: Hello, what's up?
Me: (thinks for a long time, comes up blank) nothing much, you?
Them: oh about the same.
-silence-

This works with a multitude of questions: "How are you" "How have you been" "How is life" etc etc.
The problem is, you can't reply with anything that is actually occurring in your life without sounding pompous/pretentious/damned depressing. Try replying with "I realized I live a boring life" it's simply too personal as a response to an automatic question and you usually get a "... that.. sucks?"
Thanks tips.

Replies I've tried out were "I've been better, been worse too" (apparently too depressing.) and "I don't know that's a really hard question" (Took too much explaining) "Eh" ("Oh what's wrong?" Nothing.) or "I've been spending a lot of my time thinking about beards" ("....what?")

Involuntary responses are also irritating, because it shows people really aren't listening.

"Have fun at your birthday!"
"Thanks, you too"

What? Yes I suppose I might have fun at my birthday 5 months later. Thanks for actually paying attention to my sincere desire for you to have fun, or anything else people have to say.

"Have fun at your birthday!"
"Oh I wasn't paying attention to what you were saying because I was too preoccupied with thinking about how awesome my birthday will be!"

This wouldn't be such a problem if "Hello, I've been watching you for a while, and I've noticed you like to wear shorts" was less of a creepy statement, and more of an acceptable greeting and a foray into an interesting discussion on the phenomena of wearing shorts in cold weather.

Alas, one day, people will be interesting.