Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Eat my shit, Robertson Davies

Hello, and welcome to the world of Fifth Business. The book which is inexplicably chosen as "essential" reading for the Grade 11s of Lorne Park. All I want to know is WHY?
Why, Roberston Davies, why must you write a book that is not a book?
There is no conflict, there is no drama, there is no excitement. Hell, the "murder" we were promised came at the last 3 pages of the book, and the "mystery" was non existent! Why write a book with a fictional man who lives a mundane life, not including his bizarre saint addiction, and world travels. Hell, he's not even traveling for the fun of traveling, he is traveling to fuel his saint addiction. Plus, he is not even a likable man. He has no real compassion or any other feeling for others. He's only nice to the retarded Ms. Dempster because he thinks he has to be. His best friend is a tool, and he doesn't pick up any interesting friends along the way either. He makes no meaningful friends along the way, and methinks if he died, no one would miss him that much.
Secondly: WHY English Department? Why this atrocity of a book?
Sure, it was good reading. Once. The writing gives people headaches, it's largely redundant, and past section 3, the book stops making any sense. So why make us read it and analyze the poor thing?

What I'm saying here is let us read the old school books that everyone else reads. At least then, we can use Sparknotes.

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